Myq Kaplan - Small, Dork, and Handsome

Friday, December 2nd

Comedian Myq Kaplan stops by the studio to promote his new Netflix special, Small, Dork and Handsome and also his upcoming shows at Laugh Boston!

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

They Hill Man Morning Show on demand. And more I'm always online pin on your schedule at WAS. Dot com. Let's bring my Kaplan in here because we don't wanna laugh. And some. Mike Kaplan headlining laugh Boston. Coming up line January 12 through the fourteenth. And I don't know do you want do you wanna imposition there for camera purposes. And of course. You might think is happening. His Netflix specialists called small work and handsome editors and oh now Danielle might not say that your door and deny its I don't know I we'll have to let the personality. Myself and he estimates that I'm fine are able to make their own assessment of who I am what how it what is the definition of the work oh it in his it'd inappropriate word in this country. I mean anyone can call themselves anything they're only like for you to call somebody else something is rude but in comedies like call me this I mean even an anti immigrant is like a lesbian. He is exactly lesbians who I was gonna say if you like the lesbian are very much like yeah yeah yeah and he's a comedian and Sousa and the agencies like looks either short hair kind of makes me look like a lesbian and downright enjoy as the audience the audiences like. I thought I. I I got an yeah this and hugely I I know look I'm not saying you can agree with me like you can say it but if we agree it's like getting Grimes. I can I have that don't dare you call me not a dark I accepted. Yeah you're you're fine yeah oh I know it's all dark they're fine if I do ever be anything what they see the doors. I mean that in school I guess it's social awkwardness is probably that's the first thing that you know maybe being Smart also but that's got to be more of if you wanna get technical and nerd thing it probably Marvin nerd thing to. Dead discriminate between the differences of you know adore and Jared and I geek and yeah I have to work you know there. I probably hit it I didn't get married dissertation on this back down down usually it is should -- be glad that I would have been an out of graduated from door to nerds like oh do a dissertation on a door just talks about half an hour winds politically this store buddy probably yeah I think you have one door body like I mean usually there's like a group of dorks. At this point I am I am a man of the people I can't I can time did I get to the darts that intact anybody else to let me. Yeah how was your relationship with the athletes during school I am you know it was definitely I think I was just afraid in high school I just started at this school and I didn't know the other kids around so. There were like you know people were like much bigger than me like I'm only 56 now and not what peregrine eighth grade they were like gigantic kids' eyes like that I mean I'm in the wrong place. Like at the summit and you're driving your car and they just like monster truck series like the massive semis now like I don't know there there right highway. That's like what my high school life was like I'm just like got people are gonna step on me but mostly people were just doing their own thing but Dahlia I mean I lived. In fear about that as it turns out they might have been just as afraid of me but maybe there are. Doc about the yeah. Trouble you know bed it being 56 we often talk on the show about dating and about people not wanting to date somebody who shorter than them as I've been an issue for you I notice. Too many people that want Davidson tonight's filter to have you know it's not about not mean that certainly I I mostly have dated people who are there are still I think billions of people who are shorter than I am and I've I've dated most of them okay yeah so hey you wanna date somebody shorter than you I was I would ever assume I guess if I guess that I don't care eyes I'd say the music don't care that I don't care there hi I am I'm. I got out early to get a couple months ago so I'm not seeing like one person specifically. Right now also the relationship was of an out of the million dollars but well we're an open relationship Aaliyah. Very interesting but yet that's yet is down. I see that over the course that you know I was married. Ten years ago now and I wanted to be I was a serial monogamist foremost in my twenties and just get in a person for a year gators in fifty years. And unity yet all we get step and then after you're like well let's that if chemicals are guy and and that can sometimes be stopping them and execute data and the like well this is I guess this is how it works the but it eventually I just like while I'd like you have one partner potentially or somebody and I can. Build a life with but also recognize that we're going to both be attracted to other people and especially given that like I combine you know I travel about half the time so much that hands and in a relationship. Now it's like an you know an honest communicated over a relationship where if I'm away and I can we live together like. She can do whatever she wants while I'm gone and I did whatever I want one guy and then you know we love each other more for now do you think you'll that the two you'll get back together so you have somebody to take to the new Star Wars stuff film that's I wrestlers took us right workplace I ask. Did she care the had a lot of dark buddies or I don't know not an issue a lot of them she oh she was a door. I hope so women can be a dork that they definitely can't I mean like we're gonna end in a new age where anyone can identify however they want yeah I think she would definitely. I think that the prettier in the more objectively or conventionally like good looking a lady is in our society the less people are willing to. Agree that there adored like you're not I'd dork here but you dork I was. Our our doors dorks in the bedroom I can relate. Did did did keep like one sock on or viewer hack I mean I I think the way that probably the door curry plays out in the bedroom is like after like you know toys and kinks and that sort of thing I think that you know the same way like you know maybe if you role playing games and high school like that becomes you know role. Playing games I bedroom in you know sort of handcuffs and is and dragons. Exactly it's I had to fight a dragon and you would be a dungeon. How translator and I. And that's how he recently and mass unit being I love the size that nicer spirit I appreciate. I imagine that it is I'm I've got on the date with a barely sixty. That's odd cents down one I think it's a ping more for women than it is for men so when it comes up on the show yeah. Believe it or not. There are a lot of women who feel. Insecure war. If they're dating a guy who shorter than them they or they feel a little bit insecure I guess they feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with the height difference or something I believe that I mean the first girl that I ever shift when I was like sixteen was when you're thirty I AM yeah what do you it's kind of clarity I. Yes another clear about Alex that 1516 and it was a summer camp and she was she's now like 64 and I dive matter I didn't hear it twenty years while she came to show last year legacies I remember may. And I think I looked up and I. I'm glad I remember this view is that I can. I would and that was actually I think one of the reason why we only like sort of you know quote unquote dated at this summer camp for only like a couple weeks that she was she was like really tell her age and just for a person. In general and that was one of the things that. Did make her uncomfortable but it's it's the only I think it's what me worry about what other people think and that's to my whole life by a you know I think. I realized that I am different in a lot of ways then what you know what you're what about supposed to be what society wanting to be what but the ways. They eat your your mentally you're just being a comedian Billy and he got to he just grow up you meet one person you married then you have children and you get a job you eat meat you do all these things like and and I got on any of that you know so I can't yet we might might and worrying about what people are. Judging me by dealers certainly going to judged by that I needed be with people who also don't care like you know a tall person doesn't mind you know like picking up. Here. Likes carrying you around. Hey. Yeah. I heard around holiday you know like a moment going to be Ethel a hook up with our. I believe there's an obscure reference from revenge of the nerds where they say nerds are good sacks so I mean obviously I its they had the house and they survive that rather race will be -- not to get it going to -- dorks may have dorks Arafat announced on a roll the excitement racquets you know large so there's a little bit cute little things like how to play you know they they must get you know murdered so frequently they don't have enough good fighters but they estimated to have sex that in such high quality and quantity. There really aren't really little habits of humanity and I adore this particular spot. Well the Netflix special is called small dork and handsome back. And view we you have you stand up. Album coming out in Minot couple months and I ended January early Tony seventeen. A new album mostly about how I don't want kids and it's called no kidding. OK I. And now you need Danielle on goes back and forth she decided a while ago that she didn't want is yet but are you wall falling on manner what's what's your open to it and not actively pursuing it why do you not want kids I mean there's so many great reasons and I wanted. I mean number one I think I just don't have yet you have in windy year like that you know the biological evolutionary. Drive then great then maybe have kids you don't hear so many people just do it and either half of Britain these are accidental snow fell out of their room kid passed all of this. How many have. It's got thirtieth grandparents day has came. Three wives has just been let us that's one. Did not not all at once and I are gonna happen Marlins then you kind of and each other out raise McCain doesn't. But I mean I guess it's a lot. Yet there's a lot of work to have kids like it just takes a lot of specific energy I had them I would want to you know do it right but also just creating a new consciousness was a thing that I was like I don't even know what's going to happen in my life weren't like in general it's sort of like recommending a movie is somebody like when you're halfway through your like this is Graham had no idea how to. Our our bodies will fall apart our minds could fall apart quickly condemning somebody else did that I mean yeah I do like life but doubt that I have no idea what the second have been about this and so you would be condemning your children and two experiencing your life I if it is what you're sees what you're your fearless essentially highlight is also pretty good bye and very fortunate after all the things that I've gotten to do and like the way to my brain chemistry is like and I feel not allowed to sleep and I can't. Little kids people you want to sleepy wanna be able to take naps and you wanna be able to sleep that's all it is it's what that is certainly one of its. I'm not saying that there are things that I mean there's things that are worth waking up in the morning or I'm here right now and act and brunch yes at all this is one that is why the yeah I think it is in the morning but Vietnam where it's. Happening to us having to do something I am. I well I suppose the when you're doing stand up. It might not lend itself. Being around. The family all the time and I admitted to being serious for a seconds might be in May be higher yes I mean there are definitely people who if you're on the road all the time you know I you know you're not necessarily going to them if you're taking your kid with you like there's them you know sort of famously you know couple comedians who are you rich Voss and binding McFarland have a kid and he today I think Brittany obviously they go to travel together they bring naked with them that. Could be fun but also you know who knows you have to everybody gets to decide for themselves like the way that they live their lives hopefully amnesty and other things yeah. Thrust upon you but like if I was I'd definitely dated someone and that. At certain points I was like I could see having a family would this person if under the right circumstances are not ruling it out forever. I'm just that ruling it out her right now and then tomorrow rule it out for than and then the next day prevent. About one and it's time until one day I don't honestly pretty tough to sleep or chicks on the road TO yet gentle as kids in I don't know that you know low kids yeah. I doubt it apart you're like yeah. Is that wears the mother and twenty pound but it's fine that early on just thrilled that our relationship in the ground. These to be a lot of he reminded me of like in the fifties there are a lot of husband. A wife comedy but do you're like distillers. Are accurately and who else was. You know who my thinking I was Nichols and may yes yes yes I was like huge thing you know when I says Mike Nichols and Elaine May my name is Mike and my wife's name was Elaine really we're different people than those guys who're. Only two or a year what maybe it and begin in the comedy went like courier influences. Well I loved having me checkered was my favorite obviously for our a long long and I l.s favorite. Is I also didn't I didn't know much comedy until I was doing damage and was pursuing music originally like and my parents or music teachers I played the violin and hated as a child. Oh yeah well I was my parents made me we hands orchestra or this post is the only orchestra there. As. The though you're playing the violin you know bands in school orchestras I. Don't know you have to do orchestras seminars I guess the largest violent in the country band your bureau Europe's oh yeah but that wasn't what I was. Definitely not an -- in high school I taught myself how to play the guitar and I loved it and I -- reading songs and then when I was in school in Boston I just was looking for places to perform. Music around the city and one of the places I found among all the other likes. And music venues with the cavity studio. The Hong gotten in Harvard Square and had they just sort of started unit in their like over twenty years now but this is you know the currently nineties early two thousands and that they were lecture about her you know you could do that minutes and that second and I played a couple of the funny songs that I had. And dad and I just kept going back and doing that and then in the middle of the songs I would talk for a little bit and then little by little as they got a Zach made Iraq the I don't carry the guitar got the cap yeah sat there and yeah. Have you watched women. Have you watched when stand ups that out oh yeah. Is the great yes definitely I mean I love obviously you're starting here. In the end I think the first comedian that ever that was actually before it it nominee really was. DJ hazard he came to Brandeis when I was there. And he was the first person that I've seen some you know payment standards on TV and see my arm MacDonald there would be on Saturday at tiger polarize her Steinfeld from the Dana Carvey. And I thought that I all of those guys specials that were like funny to me back. DJ like maybe partially because it was live but partially just because he his brain was like you know it's weird in this way that really resonated with my leg he said things that actually connected to my own experience is like I love polarized his book couple good but it had nothing to do with my you know that you don't you're not the only Kerr avenue you know can help you find the entirety and like I I imagine I. Guess but well today with say things and I was like my I was like dying as it was -- it was in the coffee shop this copy has at Brandeis that was in the castle that. And then it's even there anymore as they were doing illegal things. Survey include current and yeah I think definitely want. Back in medieval times at bat. Aaron -- it was just like they were and it wasn't tons of people there but I didn't I was just lost in just let I didn't know that laughing it'd be like so just visceral and and it was amazing that was that speed and I still wanted to be a musician as an amazing Canada and edit and knows a thing added that many of the things. Well he also used which you've probably appreciated use music he did you know I live by the guitar out and him and a very very very funny guy but if you. If if you get a chance if you're a fan of comedy or you're you're interested in the Boston comedy scene. Watch Wednesday announced that out because it's it's it's really really interesting and you look at you know week we have a lot of since I've been on the air for her decades. Unfortunately for him home. On a lot of people like Lenny Clark and oh yeah and I can't imagine you're damn right over all those guys right iron on the Tonight Show is we have shared. Apparently and getting text messages that the castle is still there but it's still there but I don't think the copy shop instilled what we're they serving that was a problem getting there is serving food without I without a permanent I think that's what it like I'm over there and absolutely yes it happens yeah that's I get away with things. Because real sneaky I also literally don't know if anything I am saying is true I but I did hear that they stopped being a yeah everybody yeah I guess that the thanks to get that spirit. Where the sides here or is your where's your favorite city to play. I love going to Portland organ. That's one of my favorite places they've got to I'm I'm the yen and they have like rules that you have to have bars open. In the nighttime like they have to have certain food grade available and it's almost always like food that I can meet all over the city itself. I did actually being able survive and and Portland had Hannity and the most out bookstores per capita and strip clubs per capita. It's interesting play Pennsylvania west is now insisting place yes I love I love Portland low performing at that this club and in Minneapolis called acme that's one of the best clubs and I've ever been to actually of Denver and on and on their and a couple weeks to please of the comedy works. Austin obviously New Year's Eve like and actually getting to go to a few of my. Dave favorite places San Francisco. The Athens Atlanta. Oh OK Danielle Wendy in for a week yeah it. Yeah and it's. Like to think if I. I think it's two days were all in all night while we sleep united ahead. I'm very proud of it I lay me down entity and I don't Jack Russell for an. Don't ship ever crave like a juicy red tenderloin like don't ever want to don't ever say that you know today's even bullying a today could you wanna just punch somebody in the phase. Got a lift somebody wrote. That it just bleed out not router yeah I wanna have that but we're all human memory as you have here we don't want it so you're triggering me over you know Patrick. But you never like Erica legally get a craving for burger. I mean there's I'll be honest you honestly there's so many things in we can't have all the experiences might there's so many things like. Food isn't the most important thing to me which is one of the the recently I have other you know areas and interests and you know hobbies and the amount of time that I've been eating is you know maybe an hour a day two hours a day of it that much and all that that I mean yeah. But yeah. That's there's a lot of them out I surprise myself in ours -- sponsors on it certainly I do you remember I enjoying this I mean I think if people like argues anything all of these things that actually didn't eat that many different things like growing up you know until I was in college I ran 1990. You know mostly like burgers hot dogs pizza you know like just the good stuff unquote normal thing this candidate to nationalize became vegetarian I I I found that there was like interest being like other you know like. Ethiopian food and Cambodian Google's stock does that I hate when you can save I mean it's just like a burger and tofu tastes so foods taste just like blood I'm getting a that it would taste like a burger and that a but I think that like everything like Ethiopian menu like the spices are the same yeah general flavors of plagiarism this there are there are amazing the insensitive sport things but also idea just like vegetables like I mean I like eating and things that I mean those things that we might I understand that I hate the love cheesecake you know and I don't use in getting our there are the big -- actually are like one of the things I think are the best liked big versions of things they have you been to Thelma Lou there's a place that they are far from here yet it's it's near grasshopper that's like if yes everything the president and often. And right next order hitter couple theirs down there again you know and all the ice cream place and I'd like cat I think I coconut and my match I dreamed that I. That's fifteen passes. How it's cats yet it catch you and coconut I think in different kinds of Nat and just like it's don't legislate they I don't know what they'd it was like cashew milk to make it really yeah really yeah. So do you like Ghana on Friday decent wow I am I have a real hankering for a kale salad. I noticed that's what I'm saying the current. Well great question I don't know I don't do I do like Al salads but I like I mean look like Rahm and I love you answered yeah and soups I like vegetable sushi I liked. Like there's tons of you know people are technology improving vastly expands. I thought nobody. Who like left another kind of podcast and he was like you don't know your medicine and Michael I do actually made me for nineteen years you know you're I think yeah yeah we're doing it differently now I don't think that treatment. But vegetarian technologies in the technologies have because they need to survive what I do remember like ten years ago having a V in cheese cake that was literally just like a triangle of Dothan and they're likely got the shape right you know I can't. Lafayette yeah. Another try at and that's how I'd honestly like I you know I don't need to convince anybody but I mean the reason that I'm doing it is not. To be to have everything taste game and I'm doing it too. For all the reasons it's good for the planet the environments and for me in my house it's mainly the reason is that you know there's factory farms that. Tree I mean most people are like animals like that clinic is not think about you know yeah we'll see videos or read the books or watch the movies or learn the things about like sort of unnecessary. Torture that's going on like those are things we like oh yeah I wish that would either I was like that in Iceland is like avoided better that didn't happen but I A don't know had not keep doing what I've been doing so we will keep doing it though. I get it done about that. I didn't have asked little and back to the I yeah I'm. I really well or. Well coming out lawnmower concerns it could come January 12 to the fourteen that left Boston it's my Kaplan and the album comes out in 2017. That you get late January early February I know America against Israel and very much there's a Netflix special which is called small to work enhancement there isn't which are we talked about all yeah. Slow and I very much for having me on great to have you here and will be right back.