Mistress Carrie's Side Piece Episode 11: The Samaritans

Tuesday, September 12th

On this episode of Mistress Carrie's Side Piece Podcast, Mistress Carrie sits down with the staff of The Samaritans, on National Suicide Prevention Day. Included in their services, a 24/7 Hope Line, and crisis service, Grief Support, and Comminity Education, and Outreach. For more information call or text  1-877-870-HOPE or log onto www.samaritanshope.org This program aired on Sunday September 10, 2017.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

This just curious side piece pod here. Snow check on WB AF dot com. I'm a woman. Welcome to episode eleven. Mr. Kerry's side he's podcast I apologize seven slackened a little bit. On this episode I wanted to bring you the audio from a special that we did over the weekend on the world suicide prevention day. Across the country all of the radio stations owned by Entercom aired a special called I'm listening. Of course we've. All heard about the tragic suicide. Famous musicians like Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington recently. And unfortunately most people have been personally affected by the suicide of a loved one. Family member or friend so we wanted to continue the discussion locally and continue listening. So for an hour or this past Sunday I hosted. People that work with an organization that's doing amazing Mort called the samaritans. And they came in to talk about. All of the different ways that they are serving people when it comes to suicide. Whether it be. They're whole line that they have 24/7 and whether be good grief counseling for the friends and family left behind. Whether it be suicide prevention education and they're just doing a lot of fantastic work and a lot of the volunteer work that I do is veteran space. Working with organizations like the home based program or twenty to kill trying to prevent veterans suicide but. Suicide is a problem that knows no age no gender no creed. It's a problem everywhere and the samaritans. Are doing this work trying to prevent suicide. Across the board so on this week's episode of mr. scary sight peace podcasts I wanted to bring new vacation mystic. The hourlong special that I did with the samaritans that originally aired on Sunday September 10. And hopefully you'll learn something hopefully you'll be inspired to get involved hopefully. It'll help someone that's listening know that it's they're not alone. And that there's someone out there that's willing to listen and willing to help. So here it is episode eleven of mr. scary sight peace. I'm listening. I'm listening. A special nationwide are your thing and world suicide prevention day continues lines from the Entercom studios in Boston. Now use your host for our number three. Mistress Carrie. From WPA yes. Right Jesse live from DW AAF studios at Entercom Boston my name is Mistress Carrie thank you very much for tuning in in continuing the discussion about I'm listening. I'm joined here. By some people that are doing this work every day and they're doing it locally with the samaritans Ron white the chief program officer. Annaly Brit the manager of grief support beach mom tie as the manager training and quality improvement. And also was Steve Mon June the executive director of the samaritans thank you so much for coming in today. And continuing this discussion now on a local level we had been listening to. Bill the last two hours. To musicians and artists and athletes and just everyday people talking about how they have been impacted in one way or another. And now we really want to focus if you've been motivated. If you are looking for resource is if you want to learn more but now on a local level. The samaritans is doing this work locally. Every day and we wanted to really welcome you to command and talk about you work so thank you so much for coming in. Think you missed. So I want to begin. Steve because. There's so many different facets of a suicide or suicide attempt and the narrative is really changing with everything that we just heard an everything that we had been listening to. About just how society views suicide and the work that's been done. Not only in the last year or two years but really going back in just how we view this problem. And your. The experts you are on the front lines you are combating this issue from many different sides. And sort really wanted to talk about what the samaritans. Is how you go about the work that you do and how people can. Seek help seek help for their loved ones and also get involved. Sure thank you mrs. area I really need to thank the hole and it. Network stations era having this program the last couple of hours and helping get the word out. Raising awareness whose. Shirley one arm significant challenges across the country. And I also wanna stressed your listeners that samaritans. Suicide prevention work. We are part of the national suicide prevention lifeline so if you're dialing that number from Massachusetts remember more than likely is coming into the americans' crisis banner. In downtown Austin. We also provide a local member in the state that you can dial 877870. Hope. Which is 4673. And for the younger listeners we know they preferred attacks. There you can text that same number 24/7. And someone will respond to your backs in the Massachusetts or New England area where you bizarre. The 877870. Hope caller affects 24/7. You know listening earlier it it brought me back and you know knows more than thirty years ago at this point that I lost my sister to suicide. And I can remember that day when I was on my hands and knees. Tile floor foyer of my home outside of Pittsburgh. And when the phone rang it. And we have felt in those days but at that in my life if that's the meat in it where it is called Mac. Which used in the doorways and I think you've got to take our brother. And when he shared with me the cash it ended. I can't use. In that exact conversation. And feelings and emotions were. Unbearable. My daughter who was four years ago but the name. Sixteen years after. When she was in college here. As a writer and feature stories and the message in the but that they might daddy cried each year effort to. And severe pain the disbelief. The I just couldn't wrap my mind around this wonderful loving woman one loving sister and you know made the decision. And as some of the prior. Speakers and a while as mentioned it's real name. And we saw the whole range. And people. Do that. Thinking to. The meant so much pain. And in my life. Also. Rubber and Aoki who won me the husband. And earlier in life and school and college. Coworkers. Neighbors. And as you heard people from all walks aligns well. That they get to we and permanent solution emperor. Listeners can hang on and we can help them root are. Dark moment. In the act of suicide. And they can men and we know from talking to with it and survivors. That over 90%. In. It to mean like the right thing to do. So if we can help in anyway so if Europe is feeling vulnerable is concerned but on the caller acts. In Euro. Or sixth infantry. Let's note on. Our services free confidential and anonymous. And we just yet though listens to despondent. Anxious feeling lonely you don't have to be with. We'd like to read. Before you rate. That we can now. You'll ever. What I think is really interesting what we were listening to over the last couple of hours is people keep referencing an illness like cancer. And if you know someone that that is sick with an illness. You know about it the family talks about it you can read on their social media pages they'll have events to support that person and fund raise and what's amazing is the more people that opened up in this discussion about suicide you really do start. Realizing that everyone around you has been impacted or affected by it in some way. Yet it's never really been talked about and once you start the discussion and you realize that you are not alone. You're not alone in your experience whether it was a friend a family member a loved one weigh yourself. That is that it's not. Something that should have a stigma. That it is something that collectively it's an experience we all share in one way or another and that if you talk about it AK and get better. Absolutely and you know. Give a lot of personal thanks to most Americans have been the executive director there for about two and a half years but. Who is probably fifteen years ago and I discovered samaritans. And that's where I found platform and my family found a platform we that your feelings oh. We've spent the previous opinions not ignoring what happened not known how to pocket. And I can tell I'm incredibly hopeful wanna go back thirtieth farm with Tom that whether having a program like this today sharing this message. It's so inspiring and so hopeful. They were headed in a wonderful direction. Well let's talk about that a little bit because it. It's been in the news so much recently whether it be with professional athletes and CT EU war. Here at WA AF with musicians like Chester Bennington in Chris Cornell that are the most recent examples but the samaritans has been around since 1974. This work has been being done. From the time they were just a small organization until today you say June you've been their for the last two and a half years. But this work in the samaritans have been around a really long time. And has a rich history of of success in a lot of ways. Absolutely it's as that over 42 years in the greater Boston market and our tagline is then you're not alone. An apparent at. I needed someone near me and Americans listen for the thirteen teams and hearing. And you know and Mayo case again. Fifteen years ago first learned about matter and that's when I to go to one there and and making plays and raised my hand view and he year. And when I was a volunteer in the ice and a little skeptical and just talking things through these. Entitlement referred at a collar old. It was right it was during the month of October and he told me. He was going to and a slight January. Iowa news and we're. Doing and why he was and he wanted to join his son. On the second anniversary. And that. It lost and when he tragically. On the list and refuse. And am like many collars and I think they eat well with many many. During the month. But the space in between calls and greater and greater right before. He called. Thank you for being let me sort some things in the rest him. So that with the power from lower. Rates help lines really. Really. And in my own case. Eleven years ago we established at the steam. And where involved in the irons five K run walk for suicide prevention. Will be. Running and walking for the eleventh time and that is in the 23 locally. Are. And Japan Japan. My family. Eight siblings with before it. Goes it's not that one of the big fan who fifty people go to. After that first run walk. Remember. In davis' and I. Gave us an opportunity. In. Years stories. Path with her grandchildren. And children. In honor men but the meter. But now because because earth we're able to. There's stories and no woman who she was. There it's not that deep dark secrets. Being kept them. We talk about the the five K and and I think it's important that all of the services that the samaritans offer our free. They're confidential you were talking about it earlier if you're listening. This stay where I help line 877870. Hope. There are. Many different services that you offer depending on your. Experience. With suicide whether it be euros suicidal thoughts whether it be trying to prevent a family member or friend or the grief process afterwards. We could be someone that hasn't been personally affected. By someone within your own social circle but maybe. I you've been inspired to get involved. Because of a musician or an athlete or someone that you just heard about on the news. All of the different resources it's all the same number 877870. Hope or 87787046. 73. And I wanna talk a little bit because. I think when it comes to suicide you only hear. Is this the negative side and you were talking about the success stories. And I want to talk about the sheer number of people that are using the service. Every year because. This Merrins has been around a really long time and there are a lot of success stories that maybe people weren't aware of because they're only hearing about. The successful attempts and they're not hearing about. This suicides that have been stopped in the help that people have received because of it and the numbers are pretty staggering and the success numbers that you have do you. Wanna share some of those. Sure we you know on the help line we take between eighty and a 100000 calls in the race and every year. And it with the help of over 300 volunteers. That we get that work and and little later my colleagues here and beat these two these training in the on your experience that. It's if you believe. In the concept of people helping you and then listening with a compassionate non judgmental here can help them but he. You can be eligible to be here in fifteen years of natural but which enemies inspector hour. That there can be people can be trained to get involved with those that you don't just have to be. At a certain background with a certain education of a certain age that it really is something that all people can be welcomed into this experience and and these volunteers. They're doing. Amazing work you said. Since the samaritans. Evolved from 1974. They've handled 2.5 million calls chat text from just at risk individuals alone. That's right. In with trained you know for over 4000 volunteers who over the years so. It it's remarkable work and if I'm ever having a rough day Allen have to do is walk into racist manner and thank a volunteer for being there. May turn around they know things view this with such rewarding work incredible. And it is so inspiring to see people who erred in giving four hours of the life every week limitless and others in pain and help them through it. It the the magical place and it's very hopeful place. And I think it's important that the same phone number can receive calls for some people who may be more comfortable reaching out that way. But that can also received texts at the same number. For people let me be a little more or nervous or afraid to reach out and wanna have it be a little bit. It's more separated or more impersonal that maybe they want to reach out at first via text answer your phone number does both. Yes it has both and a Yeltsin you know one of the other benefits of texting especially for younger people first of most preferred method of communication anyway. But they can be experience on a bus or in the play Federer and should say between classes not during class and wanna control what they need to out there but. You know. And then I could be over heard that they can be maintained can be private if not uncommon for us get a text from someone on a school bus you know where it concerns about the day. And then the follow later with you know when a break and it just provides the means that there. And in addition to. Crisis hotline you'd mentioned that in Wales would agree supports so for people who were survivors of both lives. We have. The couple programs that Emily fears some information that we serve over 11100 people. And your support groups in the course of the year we effort with these pleas mean. And we also do a lot of community education and outreach that. Ron Wolf you know some people and non we do suicide prevention workshops. In the community. With everyone from gatekeepers who could be coaches he chooses winners. First responders. And also appeared here program that is especially popular. With teams in high school classrooms. Where we help them to be on the look out one another and help them understand. That if they are struggling. It's a good idea pocket and and very in the guidance office that is in the schools we eat at. We'll tell us the the days following you know. Its commitments and struggling and need some help Americans told me talk about it here. It's making it. No there there are definitely. Some statements that I think that some older people are still trying to get over in that. These suicidal thoughts can be temporary. And most often are temporary. And that there isn't the stigma that there once was that your just crazy war. That you shouldn't talk about it and you'll be better off just suck it up in dealing with it. And it seems that the more the discussion happens the more people realize that. This discussion does help. And just giving someone an outlet in a way to talk about things NN. And a way for people to reach out amongst their peers do this statistic that I found the most striking is that 90% of the people who survived a suicide attempt. They don't die by suicide day 90% is a massive. Percentage of people. That you're able to stop before the decision is final. And somehow get involved whether it be friends family or just that anonymous volunteers that it's. That was just there in that one split second moment of crisis when they needed someone. So we wanted to talk to it to beat and we have a whole roomful of people. And all of your different experiences in and levels of expertise all fall under the umbrella of the samaritans with all of the different. Services that you offer wanna give out phone number again it's 877870. Hope. It's where you can go for information out all the different facets of the programs that the samaritans offers but talk a little bit about what your area of expertise is. So I am the manager meaning in quality improvement for the crisis at the volunteers that are answering the appliance. Better answering the phone calls and text messages tasks. I train them attain them to be able to kind of rewire their brains as soon as human beings we like to give advice and we like to problem solve. And that's not always the best thing to be doing for someone who is killing societal and who is his struggling and it's not. It's not what we do on our lines like what we do we don't we're not there as someone not counselors which is why. Anyone can do the work that we do not trying to. Fixed the column that someone is going through what we're trying to do is. And I think them and actually talked about this but I'm listening program. Hours earlier by. They creating best piece of where someone can talk about whatever their feeling whether it's happy or. And not be just weren't not have been minimized and not have a change the subject that manipulate. You know I'm here and hearing what you're saying I want to understand what you're going through you're not alone in dance and just. You know share more with me is because like. Well it it we were talking about it with a different illnesses that you can find a support group if you were a cancer survivor you confined to support. Very easily but when it comes to mental illness and suicide. It's a little bit more difficult and you're also a little bit more nervous to really open up and say I need this kind of help I don't know where to ago. Where as you would be very vocal to ask for help if you were having back pain. And so creating a force of volunteers. That are so eager to wanna stand up and be recognized and say I aim here for you. So talk to me about the training process and who can get involved and what that training is. Is involved so it's definitely a comprehensive meaning in my nastiest senate fifteen years in order that's who get involved. You know it doesn't matter what you do for work it doesn't matter. What your ages. All that matters is that that you're open to coming in and year open to kind of learning about the work that we Q and your open two of like both of us kind of seeing is this the right fit for you. And then going through that training so we have class from component where we talk about different things and people. You know we talk about aside we talked about the stigma around it we talk about me around it. We talk about you know how to. Like how to kind of how these kind of conversations how to be okayed and sit without pain. Because. You know a lot of a lot of individuals we hear about suicide we hear someone feeling societal and we're immediately afraid we're. Immediately kind of feeling prone to it how to keep this person's. And our mind goes there and kind of jumps to that and then we kind of lose will. It's not about it is about keeping them safe but it's also about what brought them here and how can we help them work. And so we trainer volunteers to kind of get a little comfortable with that conversation. And you know and after the class from component and we go into. Getting them comfortable on actual live conversations. And ensure that you know. Work with them again and that point where both pero Mira and have been answering his calls in the eighth. It really is a testament to the human experience and he just recently with all of the the visuals that we've all seen on the news with the hurricane and and ended the every day people that have stepped up to help their neighbor in need for me it really does TV the sense of community and and they even though a lot of the images that we see on TV are so negative. That there are those people that are willing to come in and say it and it's not all bad. This is temporary there are people here that love you and care for you and want to. Be a source of strength for you because this is a temporary thing in most cases and what we were talking about the the the the root behind the suicidal thoughts is usually something temporary and if it's not and it's a longstanding battle with mental illness. That there are resource is there that can help but the isolation and the feeling that. I'm alone is is something that. You hear over and over again the last two hours of the I'm listening special people were saying I thought I was alone and didn't know where to go learn and that's only keep giving the phone number out because if you're just tuning in. The samaritans based right here on Abbas has been doing this work since 1974. With a fleet of volunteers you can get all the information you can reach out yourself before on behalf of a loved one. At 877870. Hope 8778704673. And what are some of the things that these volunteers come back and talk to you once they start this work they go through training. And then what's the kind of feedback you get from them once they actually start doing work. Actually mean we have amazing volunteers and everything which is pretty much volunteer base that I'm we will talk about her greets for partners as well with crisis services I mean. It it is a life changing thing for them. I pure pretty much from every volunteer. That. This has changed this experience has changed their life the experience has made them realize how important connection is how important and nonjudgmental. Support can be how important active listening fumbling can actually be. And you know what we hear when when our volunteers doing the kind of moving on to the next step and life Netflix and we'll carry this with me. 1 whenever I am doing. Wherever I go and you know we we get people who were like you know I did this on a whim because I won it. A volunteer opportunity and one I've learned here it is and what I'm taking with mean like I can even think you that's enough. And you know or at the palace about I've made lifelong friends here so you know you think about a crisis centers and heaps Steve kind of touched on it this isn't really an area. Hope you think by you know you might think I'm on a crisis center everything's going to be serious and Catholic whirling Burlington in particular. Topic of conversation people going to be ups that are. Whenever my feet but then when you go in that environment and it's actually is very supportive environments. Our motto being you're not alone it's for everybody who's in that. Environment not just our the users of our services it's our volunteers the staff it's whoever. Is with us. And we we we have that community of going through my house so. It is very much talent and experience that that more often than not if I'm an African. And it's changed me as a human being. When you talk about suicide you think about the person that has the suicidal thoughts and you. You think about that person in their crisis in and see you were talking about earlier that. They feel low I ache. This is the best thing for for them and and it's in that moment. They feel like they're making the right choice or was the only choice that they had an it was a means for them to reach out. But it really does involve everyone around you that loves you and we've referenced Emily a few times but one or the other. One or the other. Functions of the samaritans. Is to be there for the friends and family. That are involved whether the person that they love. Is battling a mental illness that is having suicidal thoughts. Or may have gotten to the point where they've been successful in her suicide and the samaritans are also there. As a support system for the family and the loved ones as. Well apps. In an actress partners program we have two services that we offer. Like all for other programs very confidential. And really focus on action. All of our services and expert services are based on appear model with our hope and really what we've seen as. Being able to connect with others of similar experience. Can really help alleviate some of the pain Harrington halves months I'll walk alongside. Them. So Peter referenced are volunteers we have wonderful volunteers if our home is it in our support groups. Overall experience lost just as well. And their place in the journey where they are saying okay I'm gonna be there for others as others prepare for me. And so we do have support groups of six across. Greater Boston solicitor. Austin Needham NC Medford Framingham and monster. On the twice month for. Or drop and the people need to register you can find. The locations and web site is reaching us of online and listed and they have all the locations and meeting times. And just drop into the group and see what's going on and share experience as. Everyone there's there's hair and hopefully people can here's something that resonates with them and I'm not only want experience not the only one who's in first thing in the morning it's what it's like a tsunami hitting me. And there are other people who are there and the whole meeting you see people nodding their heads as talking and that sort of thing. What I hear most commonly after a month. And their first meeting as and I felt like it was going Kris it's like being roller coaster line going backwards. And I'm not going this is normal. For this. Because it is so nice. And. And there's also is stigma attached to it where the loved ones that are left behind her somehow. There's an expectation put on them that they should have been in a position to stop and then they should have known they should've seen the warning signs. So not only are they coping with their own loss of a loved one but then they're also somehow unwillingly saddled with this. Blame but that is completely irresponsible to put on someone. Because the person that was suicidal. In a lot of ways. You know is just with this the things we hear in the news with the celebrities people's I had no idea they were able to put on such a brave. Front they even people that saw them every day at work family members friends did their own spouses. They really didn't. Know. That this was going on inside their loved one and and then the feeling afterwards of yeah your errors survivor's guilt and and who else could possibly understand what I'm going through right now. I can't imagine the weight lifted off the shoulders of those people when they walk into a room with people that know exactly how they feel. It's an amazing thing and you know. It's a testament. To see people come weren. Immense pain and immense grief and men's earning one be there and listen to someone else and support them. It's such a beautiful thing which is I think. Another thing that our volunteers talked about and being able to create an environment. For people to come together and support one another. Outlet can sometimes in the darkest time. I and then we also do home visits not another avenue that people can connect as I mentioned Oliver volunteers have lost and into this themselves. And the Oakland impairs meet with someone and maybe they're not near a worker and they just can't physically get there. Or perhaps they're just not ready can be your really intimidating thing. To go and make yourself on her home to a whole group of people eat out now. I'm gaelic your on display exactly. And you don't know what happens. But a home visit. It can be in your home another place it's about freedom and libraries that are office it's an opportunity to have some warm one on one. I was volunteers that their experiences. And to just get additional support because. It's so hard to go out and talk. What you're experiencing. Which is why we talk about erasing stigma and the more people who talk about it you know. I was out in Amherst. For something for work and I happen to arm into the gentlemen we're having conversations story and recently here are on during summer for my job I told might do and he's about my sister's boyfriend. You know if you know it's entirely sane people to share. But the more you talk about it the more you realize this has affected. So many people you truly are not alone we don't know. Because we're not talking about. And so again that's the five K it's a beautiful place. It's a wonderful place for survivors come into its support. And see that you're not alone it's we have thousands of people come. And raise funds and block for suicide prevention in honor and memory of their loved ones. Really celebrate the lives from the time. The five case happening on Saturday September 23. It's at artist sunny park a right here in Brighton. And now all of the details can be found on your website. And I know a lot of people if they're tuning in a little late they may not understand. What we're talking about but. My name is mr. Carey I'm hosting this locally focused hour of I'm listening with volunteers and members of the staff at the samaritans. And I think of the things you touched on that I really wanna focus on is appeared appear shrine because when you talk about suicide. It's it's so different. Depending on the experience of the person having suicidal thoughts. And the age range of the volunteers that you train can be anywhere from fifteen years an op because. Pairing of volunteer. With someone and who is either thinking about suicide themselves or they are suffering grief over the loss of someone. This this circumstances behind that are so different. We just had a lot of college kids moving to the Boston area it's the first time there away from home they could be extremely far away from. There entire social circle in support system. We talked about on the news all the time about those veteran suicide epidemic. The pressures of high school kids especially with bullying and social media. With an economy that goes up and down you could have people that are older that may have lost their job for the first time. So really being specific in the pairing of a volunteer with someone. That has firsthand knowledge of of the struggles. That this person could be going through or the family and friends that are left behind. I think there's a real strength and that and a real understanding so you're not saying oh this person couldn't possibly understand. What I'm going through them. Absolutely I mean again this is. Why are its own minds are staffed by volunteers. You know there everyday people who are there to say. I'm here to listen and hear a walk alongside you and what you're experiencing matters and that's what happens or support groups also now. You don't have to be alone. And it's it's okay it's common sense I'm having a hard time and I am really struggling because the other people on the ground are not in their sentencing him to. And that alone I think. Personally I think that we thrive off of connection and we wanna be validated we search for that and meaning. And that's what happens there's merit and through any of our programs. The beautiful thing. Well you see the world move bonds. After your loss to new donors samurai the west to the rest of the world is in grieving the same as you wire. And in a society where so many things are disposable. Where so many things are or will whatever is popping up on my Twitter feed tomorrow. You could have lost someone and 2030. Years ago and that loss for you is still as fresh as if that happened yesterday even though the world. Has moved on and so there's no expectation of of I timeline no wind you should just be overeat and have gotten better and I want to involve Iran in this conversation is welcome you've been I feel bad about my back turned to your I don't want you to think it. And may I remind people that you're here as well but. Your work with the samaritans. To it's it's a real all encompassing organization that focuses on everyone that needs the help. That's right and so much of the work that we do. Is. Around suicide prevention and education community education. So we're there to go out to schools. Workplaces. Com. Hunger get living facilities for older adults really anybody that will have us. To share the message of now what we do to talk about warning signs. And how you can help. Into reinforce the message that it you don't have to be a doctor. To do CPR on someone who needs and you don't have to be a psychiatrist helps someone. Struggling with suicidal thoughts and ideas. Eventually yes it takes a team of people. But at that one moment you were caring voice your ability to listen. Your ability to ask that question directly and calmly. And then nonjudgmental way I can mean the world to someone that that may be the first time. That they are able to acknowledge those feelings and talk about them openly. I think is really important for someone that's listening that may be. Is a manager of business that has no personal experience with suicide whatsoever of a meeting employee. Did war. You're always looking for guest speakers or people to kind of involving your business that people can reach out to the samaritans like you were just talking about. And and have. A class act just for your employees just to say you know what we. You know we get involved with a lot of different things whether they be an environmental program more health programmer weight loss program. That this is a program at the samaritans offers to come out it tier business to your church group to your volunteer group you're peer group. And this is knowledge that anyone can obtain it's something that at some point unfortunately you're probably going to need it. And so to have the access to it in in a free community based way. Is there real. Real benefit and something that people can call that same number that we've been giving out 877870. Hope. And you can get. Your business signed up for these classes welts on how does that work people. Come out and no run a class or walk me through that there. We're we are very flexible. I'm you know time is. Precious to everybody today and we recognize that so. Sometimes in the classroom we've got fifteen minutes to deliver that message in the workplace it could be a lunch and learn for an hour. Whiff. Gatekeepers teachers may be we have an hour and a half up to two hours so we wanna make the best use of that time possible with with folks. And it doesn't quite you know we were at. Teaching staff. Who who work with homeless folks about these warning signs how they help. It was sent off Friday on a Monday there was a message from a woman who had attended that class. Who over the weekend was helping a family member and she said she never expected. That she was gonna use those skills in her personal life she thought that that would apply only to the clients she worked with. And she was grateful that she had spent that an hour and was able to help her family member kept to a place where they were. Willing to accept help. It really is amazing to hear a success story like that because. Like we were talking about earlier you don't hear the success stories a lot of times you don't hear that more often than not people. Are being saved and it's not just by a psychiatrist it's by your peers support its by a friend. A loved one a coworker or someone that just. Was there are ends. So people are listening I did I do wanna give out a little bit of of basic information about. If someone and has a family member or friend are there are some basic warning signs are there some things that you could say OK these are the things. That maybe they're not recognizing. That would maybe I should call the samaritans for this loved one I didn't realize it until I heard. That that could be a warning sign that maybe something. Is wrong. Yes there there there certainly are and I would say up front with warning signs that can be hard message for people who have lost someone to hear. Because of that that that out and the blame is what's. Front and center in their minds and fortunately. And these warning signs it's it's often connecting the dots with everyone in that person's circle. So they are preoccupations with suicide or death and that might be through books music art films. It is feelings of sadness or hopelessness and I really especially hopelessness it's a word we hear on the hotline. Over and over again that feeling that this will never be better. It is changes in behavior. People isolating themselves not engaging in. Activities. In which they normally engage it may be based they stopped using social media dates stop reaching out to friends. It's people who take unnecessary risks that might be driving while intoxicated. Over Medicaid being misusing drugs or alcohol. People who have had a recent loss and that doesn't mean just at. Physical loss. It it certainly would be you know a loss of a job or relationship could be the loss of fewer light street no I wanted to go to medical school. Because my father and grandfather did and I don't make that putt. That's another kind of loss. And feeling like your burden to others this sense that bomb the world it would be better off with help me it's that self talk that. It's constant. Lee staying. People would be better. If I were no longer part of this world. And she's one of the most obvious warning signs is the direct verbal cues that people get when they say things like. I don't wanna be here anymore I wish I were dead you'd be better off without me that that's the time. To. Ask the question are you feeling suicidal are you dealing with thoughts of suicide. And we want to ask that question. In a way that's direct and not be dancing around the question. You know if you if you're shaking your head back and forth no insane. You're not thinking about hurting yourself or you bought the messages your sending our I don't wanna hear yes I'm afraid to hear yes. That's why it's so important to ask it directly only. And then let them know that and it's it's a safe environment you can tolerate hearing about their darkest thoughts and feelings. It seems to be a trend when you talk about suicide now in changing the narrative and just the language. That gets used. We all spoke earlier this week in preparation for today and I found it really interesting just in in the word commit. And that most people will say oh he committed suicide and I never really connected the dots with what. That word. Means. To the person that was suicidal and the stigma that's associated with that can you talk a little bit about just changing. The language and and really the perception. Around suicide. Any of you yet just well it commit. It is I'm. We commit sins we commit crimes. And you don't commit a heart attack you don't commit cancer. I'm so we'd like to we want to change the language in the people die by suicide as opposed to commit suicide. Because the blame does not lie with that person that person. Who dies by suicide. Is in intolerable pain and what they want is for their pain to end anything that it takes to end their pain. An end to be clear there's blame anywhere around there's also no blame for the family members and it's and that's survivors of it that. If there isn't this thing that needs to be handed off to someone. And someone has to taking it that it's not. The person that suicidal but it's also not the family members that didn't recognize the signs that weren't obvious that their loved one was in pain. That's right and you know we have talked with many suicide attempt survivors who palace. And that they felt like a burden to their loved ones for their family and they very consciously. Did everything they to put on a happy face in front of the people who they were closest to because the last thing we wanted to do was be a burden to them. So that's. Why the community education programs so important. You know a wonderful success story there is a gentleman who called me instead. You know my kind of been struggling but I thought we were you know really doing fine he seemed great the last couple three months everything was going in the right direction. But I got a call from one of my son's friends whose in more read about him. And a guidance from the school column also Colin me he was word about my voice. And then the mother of another one of my son's friend called and my son is here crying so worried about your son. So. You know. Person who was struggling. Was hiding it from his mom and dad that in the communities they were seen after getting educated and understanding what the look for. Pieced it together he was able to approach this on in you know people calling on and and they got him some professional support and help and they're doing much better at it. Those just crucial. People know you don't have to take on the burden yourself. And we're all in this together. I'm gonna shift gears a little also yeah sure I mention mentioned the five cage and because. One thing is we are small nonprofit. And this five K event we depend on individual donations. And we have over 100 team captains who are going to be well over when he 500 people. Walking in and running in honor of someone they loved in that the fun day and it's a it's hard to describe and Tucker with suicide with its ten day but we have a family fun festival. For me when I. It was that the place that opened up the conversation for mean it's so inspiring when you get there and look around the 2000 people is celebrate. The life of someone they love that willing to laugh and share stories. And you know we hear that from survivors from PepsiCo two years before they actually laughed again. And the first feel guilty that the and I think in nominal one would want me to laugh it's okay to do that the race the by participating in the event. That if the good safe place to be and that that together we economic difference. And it if you wanna find information on IQ a with simplified the website it's just American five K dot org. You can find them online fan per team register I'm an artist Tony park on the 23. And also another website to make note of is Americans hope all one word dot org. That's where you can sign up for an information session if you wanna learn more about volunteering. Or offend us an email or. You can also go to the website of whatever radio station you're tuning in on right now and all of that information is almost a right on the front page of of your favorite radio station and I know in a couple of minutes we may lose some of our WEEI affiliates by. Taking gold to all any website of whatever radio station you're listening to right on the front pages the link for the five K. The link for the samaritans and also as the toll free number that we've been giving out. Is adding it's really important that it's all the same phone number and you can either call or text the same number at 877. 8704673877. 870 hope. And one of the things I I I wanna keep circling back to because I I think that it's so important is how the conversation about suicide has changed. And talking about Blake. One of the one is beyond. The warning signs that you were talking about the it wasn't that long ago that people were in court blaming musicians for their music call the causing suicide. I grew up in lemon star. And when I was in school there was a cluster of kids from the high school that had committed suicide and that was the word they used back then. End big got to the point where they. Needed to blame they tried to find a cause and rather than looking at every. Individual. And trying to figure out the root cause of that person's suicide. There was even a discussion about changing the mascot of the high school because some how with the mascot of the high school for the sports teams was somehow. To blame for it. And just in the last thirty years. Just having the conversation. And opening up and looking at what it really is for the person that's having the thoughts for the family members and friends that are involved. And the education and training that's available to really see. What's really going on has completely changed. How we can come back this prop up. It's amazing that the the movement forward to ground that's been gained with the knowledge and just having a simple conversation about it without a stigma. That's right I mean if if someone. Al's shoes they're feeling depressed. You know our coaching is to say that's OK. Tell me more about your feelings are your feelings. You know what you do going forward with those feelings it is only can impact but you can't fortune feelings away. And we're one of the places that you and Collins in a suicide on the curriculum I felt today and that's okay tell me more about it where's the conversation. Ago. We're not going to judge you were not going to tell you know that the normal human reaction is but you social before but but but but but but. Because they're putting meaning of your life in their contest right they're not looking at it from the inside they're looking at it from the outside. Absolutely. True one is just you know we can all learn to just accept each other for who we are. What ever Arafat's feelings desires meet the bureau okay. You know be listen listen closely and be more inclined to. Asked the question you know would you mind telling me more about that as opposed to thinking about what you're gonna say him and compact. Individual and you know just keep the conversation. I think it's really important when you talk about the pierce. That really paring out. People that would really understands. For a combat veteran it would be very difficult for someone that's not a combat veteran two X need to understand their experience. For first responder. To be very difficult for those of us. On the outside of of those professions to really understand the pressures of their jobs. I can't imagine what it would be like for a sixteen year old girl to be in high school now a days. Or a college students that just moved here from another country or another state that's away from their Stanley for the first time. It's very difficult to put yourself in the context of the person that's calling. Your help line. But the samaritans and has the ability to really put someone there that not only says Tommy more about it. But that could offer their own experience and say you know what that's exactly how I felt too. And I think that's really important. It's actually. We won't completely. Fade you know you know what I missed what you do is you happen to. And what you know what our volunteers do and what they kind of learning and training is that even if they even flake mister scary even if you're. In your like I actually don't completely understand that situation and understand. So we talk about if pull out of the situation would they feel. What is that emotion because more often than not all of us. Internalize things differently all of this experience. For though I might have confidence in acting as I still have felt differently. So we kind of pull out of that Poland too well what was the emotion was like what how did this experience. I'm fault for the spurs and what was the emotion that's present there because I might not be able to relate that situation. But I might be able to relate and sign might be able to relate madness that. Immense pressure. Whatever else might be and that's what I can pull for them to make back next. So that's kind of it's so on our Christmas lights please I'm. That's what we try to we trying kind of connect that emotion at that at that empathetic. Statement now and and shown that we care by connecting the commotion around it even though situationally. It might not. And you really interesting too that you know we pride ourselves on being so connected nowadays yeah that's social media you can count your friends and there's been constant updates of how everyone's doing and and and we think it where more connected than ever. But more and more as these technologies in these in these services go one we are real eyes that were becoming more and more disconnected somehow. When were more connected with more our social circles are bigger than they've ever banned yet so many people feel so isolated. And there are also. There's so many studies that you you'll look at someone's life. Online. But they've looked shall have beaten. Although they look so there are styling and all of their Lester Graham photos and and they were always talking about how great everything was. But the the empathy is is lacking in some of these technologies that that you. Realizing you're disconnected from that humanity in your disconnected from that empathy and to be able to call a line and should be connected with the person that has taken the time to really learn. What training is necessary to have this conversation and to be able to connect on an emotional level. That really is gonna make the difference with the person that five minutes ago. Felt like they were alone in a world surrounded by digital friends. And you know I'm doing cynic in me even if you aren't a volunteer on line. Human beings are capable empathy. Where are capable of it's supporting someone so and all we have to do scanner picked up stepped back and not trying to penance you know. Have our own thoughts cloud how this person is reacting insane killer I would react like past the wire today but rather trying to understand. What has been going on what is it that you're feeling and accept that that is there experience that is their feelings. And so how do you work with. Well if you've been listening. All morning long. The hash tag on social media has been I'm listening. My name is mr. Kerry we're here with. Members of the staff at the samaritans Ron white gay chief program officer and Lee Brit the manager of grief support. Via monetize the manager of training and quality improvement and Steve Monterrey the executive director. Before we run out of time because it's an impossible task. To take everything that the samaritans dust and to tackle an issue like suicides and and condense it all into an hour. So I wanna give you all a chance before we go to. You know any final thoughts any message that you really wanted to make sure that we got out before. Our hour is up in and of course you can always call the line 24 hours a day seven days a week 877870. Hole. One of the most important things to the most important things we can teach young people when we're in schools is the importance of not keeping a secret. And knowing who your trusted adults are. All too often they feel obliged to. Not to tell another person what they've just heard and you can't deal with something like this on your own we don't deal with ago. Volunteers hand senior volunteers and staff that they can turn to. Andy professional in the field would network with colleagues around how to help the suicidal patient or client. The other. Important thing for those young people is. Is that it is that your culture clergy person your your best friend's mum who is that the you can turn to and talked to if you need help. And not just one trusted adult who were all of your trusted adults that you don't get the help you need from one you gonna go to the next one. And to be persistent yes. In mr. scare I just have to you know thank you for the opportunity getting that word out WAF the whole intercom a group with its really phenomenal and with today being national suicide prevention day also. As have to give things to them and beat the in mascot for the advertising they're doing putter. I'm member out there that the sole advertiser of the texts service. And now those of you and Greater Boston may notice the causes they can bridge the current bridge in Worcester tonight. I'm government panel will be all lit up and American screen as well as the credential power Boston properties and supporting that so a lot of effort in the community is this that we're all in this together trying to help one another. And now again encourage listeners. Go to our web site to go to samaritans five K dot org get involved with that if you can't depend and a couple weeks you can still contribute to one of the teams is over hundred stories that suffice. Lots of I was sharing about who you're walking and running in on roads and you know share more about the personal side of the story. Ladies and wanna make sure that I give you guys a chance before we run out of time today. What I would want to say is that I'm not sure how come between half and that's when you know you don't have to basis and each month. But at least with with chris' services you don't have to basis final and the there'll be someone there who still talk to you about what every might be going through. And you could just have a question yeah you could just have a question and my feet where somebody else it just might be questioned for yourself but you're not that I. The brink of suicide and that's completely pain that's when there for. So I would think I would want to emphasize that as well that that we're there for you. In any state. Yeah you may not know where to go. But you can call the samaritans and you will know. Where to send the person for resource is that you will be able to steer them in the right direction if they if they were looking for if they want those resources. We look for them. Or if they just need someone to talk to him. I would say for those of. There were. Lost their fires that where available it doesn't matter if you lost its last B 25 years. It's apparent. Lesson about us and where are here and leaned. Suicide impacts people. And these emotions that those who have been very nice feeling are so complex. Were available so who dropped into a meeting. Here. And I think it did the message to leave with as well is you're not alone now. That that someone is there and that's why people have been saying over and over I'm listening. And also to thank all of your amazing volunteers before we go is to really thank all of the people that are involved with an amazing organization like the samaritans. Because they're the ones that are really making it work every day. We encourage you to go to. For coming in and sharing your stories. Thank you thank. I'm listening post special nationwide audio event on world suicide prevention day. It's been a presentation of Entercom communications. And the stigma of mental illness and learn more about suicide prevention at samaritans hope Donald work. That's samaritans Pope John York. Call or text for assistance support and guidance anytime and 1877870. Hole. That's 1877870. Hope. So that was episode eleven then of ministers carries site peace podcasting and thank everyone from the samaritans for coming in. And doing that live hour of I'm listening. That was on Sunday September 10. They are you so much for checking out the podcast you can get it on iTunes on Google play on stitcher. Don't forget to subscribe you can also. Comment. You can get more details on mean everything you need to know at WA AF dot com just in case you're stumbling upon and be. And you don't even know about WA up. Course where Boston's rock station I'm on the air every weekday from ten to three you can listen in on line at WA AF dot com. You can also download our free WAF app. By texting the word app ATP to the number 97107. And you can also tell you Smart speakers to play a W 88 after if you wanna check out the show live. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast episode twelve is in the works and as always I remind you to take a big bite out of a big piece.