I'm Listening 2018 (Full Broadcast)

Monday, September 10th

World Suicide Prevention Week begins on Sunday, September 9, 2018. To mark the start of a very important week we gathered musicians, athletes, and a panel of medical experts to air a two-hour, commercial-free broadcast across the United States on all Radio.com radio stations, this website, and via the Radio.com app.

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Welcome to I'm listening. Two hours dedicated to ending the stigma of talking about mental health and raising awareness for suicide prevention. To join the conversation online and on air please visit I'm listening dot org you'll find resource is information on today's guests and more. I'm listening dot org. Now here's our host BJ she day. Thank you for being with us today over the next two hours is our goal. Is simple it we just want it and the stigma. I'm talking about mental health and ultimately. Save a life. And we're talking from a VG to Anthony board gains suicide continues to be thrust into the spotlight. It is the tenth leading cause of death in the US and it's time it is time. The entire world. To pay attention and to realize. Mental health issues. Our life threatening situations and we all play a part in affecting a positive outcome for every one. Today we are really fortunate because we have some notable guests joining our program from our friends in Pearl Jam to the world's most decorated Olympian Michael Phelps and what their help and what their candor we hope. That you will be able to tell your stories as well because that helps hearing from every one. If you'd like more information about our gas or you would like to share how suicide mental health issues have impacted you please go to I am listening dot org. There you'll also find our studio number and that's what we'll invite you to call in and join the conversation. I am listening dot org. Because this morning we're going to talk. And we're going to listen. And learn how to talk about mental health issues will learn about stats and every one should be aware of for helping someone in emotional pain and we're gonna provide expert advice from medical professionals. And most importantly will provide resources. Because look ultimately what we want is you want all of you to know. You're not alone and if you personally struggling the most courageous thing you can do is ask for help. In addition to the resource we're providing and I'm listening dot org if you feel like you need help right now. Please call a national suicide prevention lifeline and 180273. Talk. That's 1802738255. If you prefer to text while he added it was simply text the word hello. To 741741. And that's how I can start a conversation. Joining me today is doctor Ursula Whiteside doctor Whiteside is a licensed clinical psychologist. She CEO of now matters now dot org. And she's clinical faculty at the University of Washington. And as a researcher she has been awarding grants from the national institute of mental health and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Doctor Whiteside thank you so much for being here where this morning and so many tremendous losses to suicide this year I mean ma'am I mean Anthony board game. I mean he was such a personal hero for so many per people he seemed to have at all and then Kate Spade who also had an amazing career an amazing life. Of each sheet what happened. We're Anita quit you and I talked about this before and pilot that you electing your eyes human when we got to thank you tell it was a real hit it was a really hit for a lot of people. Pertain to somebody that people connected to an all sorts of different ways and part of that was because he was so genuine. When you feel really connected to somebody. He can beast it's sad and scary when made because also what does that say what does that mean does that mean that it can happen to anyone does that mean that. At at any time any point that I can die basis sites we're talking about. Things like that today things that are really really important that the short answer is we don't know what happened we can't go back and and insert ourselves into his brain and understand what he was thinking he was doing at the time. The long answer is that actually you know life sometimes he was talking about suicide so it was no no less. It was at least nineteen times he mentioned it in and in prize cast really was Tom that he had he said things about suicide. So it it wasn't out of the blue and at the same time you know we'll talk more about statistics and what and what that says. So a doctor Whiteside. How common is suicide because it just seems like it's becoming more and more common and why is that. Well it's more it's more common in breast cancer society you're more likely to die by assisted and you are an automobile accident or just to be murdered. Right and into doesn't sixteen it was still more common and appealing over us but definitely over to us. So for to 5000 people died by year. Each year crisis so. And that's an attorney Teresa says day and at the Saint Helena went there aren't ten million people every year in the United States should seriously consider suicide. And less than one half of 1% of those who vote on it by suicide and why I say that is because that means. Even seriously considering suicide even those who seriously considering are unlikely to die by suicide so where we're bouncing least he thinks that. Both it is increasing lemon at the same time it is something that most people will never do and that is a great and I hope. Cut to excite you just gave us some alarming stats because all of those other ways that a person could die that you compared the suicide stats do. There's no stigma around those people talk about it there I mean they're open they wanna help and yet we do have the stigma when it comes to talking about suicide tiger mom mental health. And and one of the simple things we can do is the idea that people use a phrase commit suicide that is not helpful isn't. That's right so this is a simple thing you can do change their way and that they're that we purchase like the change language and it's. To move from saint commit suicide which is it it eludes her crime and actually isn't simply is still a crime to it to kill yourself. But to move from commit suicide using language like side by side suicide or died of suicide. I mean we know that statement is killing people. And and a third of trans used seriously consider suicide 40% of people are like in a frame it as trance will attempt suicide in the lifetime. Language really matters and even just calling somebody who strand by their preferred named decreases their risk of suicide so stigma using the right language makes a difference. Boy it really is amazing I mean you talk about that and I can just think in general if we can be kinder. So anybody no matter what what we're doing what they're doing no matter what if someone's different me in the same as me. If we can just default and kindness it seems like that's helpful just say that we didn't whoever you run into you don't know what you're doing. But if you're kind at least you know you're not doing any harm. Right exactly and I mean mental illness is one thing and it's important and it has its role in it's inside and then the way that we treat each other has so much should do it. What actually happens when somebody struggling the response that they get is so important. Once again if you would like to share how suicide is impacted you and really we would like to hear because. Honestly the more we all hear other people we realize we are less and less alone. He can go to I'm listening dot org you can get our studio line that's a caller show. Or you can share your story online you can also tweet us at I'm listening underscore org or just use the hash tag I'm listening. It's as simple as that again if we can hear from you. Others can hear from you all of a sudden people realize OK I'm not the only one and that is very very helpful. Well right out of the block to joining us on the phone is Lizzie help from the band hailstorm. Lizzy like so many of us has indeed been affected by suicide. She recently suffered the loss of a very close friend and fellow musician Jill Janice the front woman from the band huntress. Thanks for being with this Lizzie and tell us please a little bit about Jill. We had to each other over the years than you and how narrow lead. It disheartening when you hear about these things happening and how much this poor girl you know market felt so incredibly alone in in her struggled and and hurt daily battles he used to having this conversation with a lot of different people and you realize that a lot of people are having seen. Saw in the same struggle and probably the guy decided to kind of get pulled the project in LAK everybody you don't give the hash tag kid that you're the mission. I'll let so everybody just you know how I'm not alone we are in the armed struggle and our thoughts and. Course Lizzie hail from hell so she's talking about hash tag raise your horse. So those horns up so that we can actually bring love and also bring knowledge and awareness to a subject. That Lizzie you know people don't like to talk about suicide they don't like to talk about mental health awareness and yet it's the biggest thing that we all share it is the idea that we want to talk about as we want to let people know how we're feeling. Are slowly and there's no shame and call for help. I you know that we can't all be the alone either you know and it still such a big night and sleep not there's nothing wrong with you because. Maybe you're hurting you struggling with life's like that hard the majority of us are. Struggling with come EI grappling with champagne and all of a had been touched by by mental illness you know whether that's coming that you're going to personally or someone in your family or. It happened to everybody so Bernie had a kind of like it was hitting it was coming everybody nil. And it just amazingly I could not only. Did you know it it did my social kind of blow up with our hands and so many people that. That have been illegally and out you can open about it but all of my peers on the had kind of you know joined together Palin and it kind of didn't turn around though. It just so neat to see if it is a beautiful thing and end you know the big the world war and where it's just a much easier to follow that negative trapped. It still need to keep going you'll you know each other you know and it doesn't matter it doesn't matter your static and like either it doesn't matter. You know whether you're 18 o'clock start or appear you know a guy that we're dairy queen at the change they form of therapy for me out of it you know everyday I extreme right. How big green I commit my felt like we re going to do is I'll whenever notebook like my bed in the morning. And then everything on the and then I had all the little things that are trying to kind of it dragged me out of whatever. The joy that I that I am holding on to calm I write it down you know and and by committee of the paper it really does make me feel better and it's a good candidate coming out and try to kind of talk about it well you know bring years behind your spot trying to get therapy on that theme you know that meek you. You that make you feel better you know and and do you let's make sure that whoever is troubling you know that they are not a lot of mental battle here. Well listen I I can't thank you enough for getting up this early. I really appreciate you have a knee and I appreciate that. Harmon is less than that you're reading right now I mean did it I feel like it's gonna help a lot of people at the end wouldn't know an amazing way to can something negative it is a bad out I think Jeremy thanks for doing that. He feels for Lizzy is raise your horse has take project ride on our website I am listening dot org that's also where you'll find our studio number for the show. Now we got our next guest who just wrapped up by a handful of live dates iconic venues like Chicago's Wrigley Field in Boston's Fenway Park. Here's Mike McCready and stone Gosford from Pearl Jam with this message. I would just say I think the I'm listening campaign is a brilliant and the use of radio and what I strategic cool way of engaging in really serious issue. And using the power radio to make it more available and to our humanize this is this really important issue of mental how fun suicide. And I think. By letting people's voices tell their stories. People are going to be inclusive and I think they're gonna be affected by in a positive way and they're gonna feel like these radio stations are doing something that is. Cool hell hole beautiful proactive so. We salute the I'm listening campaign generally calm I think that's a great everywhere from utilizing this platform. Tie yeah IBM listening campaign. Liz got an amazing program. In terms of the I think if you're hesitant to talk about suicide or who are your thoughts of you know dark shots. This seems like this is a bit easier way to do it if there is an easy way to do that common not anonymously one on one bit and actually calling in or hearing. Numbers of other places that you can call in a hearing other people's stories that you can relate to. Tom those are all things that are solution oriented and important. End up probably easier do you then talked to somebody face to face. Our face approach ever taken its time to share their message I'm BJ Shea along with me doctor Ursula Whiteside. And this is I'm listening if you want more information on today's guests you wanna get resources the number for the show's of the you can college your house suicide is impacted you. Please visit I am listening dot org. And hopefully Lizzie hell and the guys are pro gem of open the door so that you can share your stories let's take some calls. We've got Lee Lee you are on I'm listening. Hi good morning Lee and you know what Lee it's it's it's real simple everybody would I just would love to hear everybody stories because I think that would help out. And so I'd tell us about yourself and and what you been going through in life. Well and let them check it at a team analyzed and pretty managed. My junior year they're at seventeen. Way. To ride to all of the arm it is Atlantic. And turtle island after island everything. You know I realize whether it's gutter that everything happened there a reason I don't die and here for a reason. Some Lee this is doctor writes I am really glad you called in and share that with his so many people have that experience where. It's almost unbearable and they consider leaving or they try to leave. And then later they turned back and they go low that. This is part of my passes as part of my journey like again it now but in a moment so hard to know that this is going to be part of a larger patented and to survive in and get through it. Yes because I'm only nineteen now. Now that was about two years ago. Yeah world. And am really glad that you called and in what are some of the things that you think have helped keep you going cat kept you keep keeping on. Since this has happened. On between myself. There with my parents and you know I can think to myself I think going to be OK you know you kind of call me really. So. They're pretty electric company now and then just let. You know obviously not bottling things like venting my feeling like professionals. And another. You learn how to be your own best cheerleader and he and you learn to listen to yourself as well in the process so thank you so much for calling in we appreciate your message and we hope that. That everyone can hear that in a moment where it doesn't seem manageable but what people say is that afterwards it made sense and their they made it through it. Well you know and I'm apparent in Saudi hear a child say that. One of the the factors that's difficult for them to deal in life is with their parents now I sit here and go okay. I need to make sure that I am not causing that kind of stress in my child's life. You know I have to I wanna do that I wanna make sure meant I don't wanna be a problem for anybody because that's my kid I loved my kid I would imagine almost every parent does so. That's a good wake up call for me to really checked him of my own children and go hey. Are you cool with me because if not I wanna make a change on the so I think you lead that's that's awesome stuff let's go to Matthew again if you want to reach out to is just what I'm listening dot org that's where you get the number and call him. Matthew welcome to I'm listening there. A little good sir how about you what's your story. Our a that the ladies who lost some of these strategist at the service. Well two months ago. And you know while I was in house supervisor and I don't a lot of people they won't do like suicidal thoughts. And it won't mean in this it was my position. To counsel them on those teams you know we do go to their current training or. It was just that so called or talked immediate to have people who beat Brenda. He's got support system put them and canal honored by it look. On and it was just so critical to see how many people like. Shall we were back on the sidelines bulges work in the canoes. We're out to see me and he's an Archie and friends. And yet no later reached him some problems because you're not allowed to arm because look like you know whatever we're doing you know talk about it remark that time of the day we're just more to this. Are more or training in income fund that would get to people especially people that. Added to do and you don't want Britain to me and has beaten to console them on their. And it kind of just talked him up and then to me just listen them home. And it's a lot yeah lot. No and also you know keep a big help to military. And then they don't have bashing each support system. That they had ball you're in that's a big deal also some go to that now it's hard which. You MSU that you're absolutely right now as a fellow dude let me just say thank you because us guys stereo typically we don't talk about anything. And the fact that you allow that to happen you just give an example all those other guys that man talking is good and it really really helps. And we're starting to talk about loneliness a lot more in and understand it is spend something that in their research we didn't NASA apparent tension on that we're learning how this has. Such an impact on and illness and suicide. But you're saying is when people are really lonely. That's when he spots a rose and that they they can come to you intact and talking about it. I'm wondering what it was about you what do you think it was about you Matthew that made it easier for people to tie TO. I just trying to beat. Approachable and neutral on because a lot of time to get the drama. And you know it's with their friends that car drop much separates them from each other and that would make them seem like they wanna share with each other. And I never tried to be part of that car stock closed. You know going to lie if I always hard to beat Kyle like neutral in those situations. Unless I felt like you speak up arms out and said. Mom taught a lot of times that's what people com talked to new carpet so like a woman in the group actual on this and talk about that backs. And at the same time bits he wants I didn't do a little while also disrupt some knowledge of the yet can you know. Hope tomorrow is it that way. In it's just alarming how many people look at a lot of the people who share will be between UEHE. When you wouldn't. Then it's just alarming how many people nowadays. Struggle historic and that they never will do this side show you practically out you can't just look at the person and been there and all they wanna commit suicide it's not something that chills on somebody's state. You definitely can't hurt but we all you can't jump in and Matthew. I just wanna say Matthew brother. I got a lot of love for you just know that man what you've done it the fact you call on the people you've health. I hope you realize man you're gift and I got a lot of love for you people say thank you for your service obviously for being in the military but I mean thank you for your service to humans man. That's a big thing the you've done. Just know your heart I dig you and I I'll be realized pretty much anybody listening digs you what you've done. Take that in feel that man because you are great human being and I appreciate you calling in thank you so much Matthew. You want I take care it is I'm listening. If you just joined assigned BJ Shea along with us. Doctor Ursula Whiteside this is a national conversation about mental health awareness and suicide prevention. On the way we've got Michael Phelps Brantley Gilbert Steven Jenkins from third I'd line and BB Rex. And speaking of young female icons and role models well we caught up with Alessio cholera. It recently and if you don't know Alessio she won best new artist earlier this year at the grammys. She was also nominated for collaboration on 1802738255. That's on with logic and collegiate. That's the number for the suicide prevention lifeline so great they did a song about that. Her sophomore album the pains of growing. Is out later this month. And it does touch on exactly that some of her struggles of growing up and working through anxiety. Here's Alessio talking about her struggles was SaaS and how she handles it. The rating from me is definitely therapy because I really don't express myself and other ways very often are very well. So. Premiere ratings are still win. Fully understand what I'm feeling am because I don't really fully understand it and generated down in a weird way. I'm so definitely am I always write from personal experience especially on this album so it's been it's been really helpful. I I was very quiet about. Certain things and I was quiet about when I was feeling anxious and I try to just oppressive because I thought that that was the right thing to do and I thought that it was strong. If you just suppressed it but I think. Now I'm growing to learn the opposite. And I think it is actually starting to be able to talk about what you're feeling and admitted in saying. I'm not feeling my best for an hour I need a second. And really carry your kind of doing yourself and everyone around you a disservice if you're just pretending. And I think everyone around with like whether it's my family and friends are my team and then they appreciate it more harmonics attend unless the knowledge a I'm off today this is why I'm and it's just it's just nice to be able to talk about it and not feel like you're being judged because at the end of the daily all feeling anxious when there there's like a name to it or whether there's like an actual. Chemical imbalance or if you just having a bad day. You know whatever it ends of the spectrum you fall on it's it's. Just as values just as important and is just as OK one of my friends was dealing with an exact topic in Charlotte with yourself and I'm just a lot of people in my life for just feeling really negatively about themselves even including me. And I just thought it was the perfect time to talk about it then. I mean there's never wrong time to talk about something and that's because there's always going to be someone struggling arm especially now you're seeing. Public fears left and right who we see as heroes and we perceive. Them as like having the perfect life and you know there can't possibly be anything wrong with them. Arm and then you know they end their own lives and it takes something like that unfortunately for us to realize that it's not only circumstantial you know there there is. Real mental illness there and there's also real human feelings that. Aren't necessarily you know. Situation all on the and it's important that we checking on our friends even if they seem stronger even if they seem like their life is. Perfect you know everybody's human. And yet every everyone's pain is is important invalid and should be taken seriously I I definitely. Want to reach as many people as I can let it whether they're dealing with mental illness or even if they're just dealing with the weird period in the life armed. I just want people to another blank. It's totally fine and come. That they shouldn't feel embarrassed about it and I think maybe by the company talking about it it'll it'll help other people talk about it. And it's if you listen to somebody like Korea was a young person and you just feel so good about it we're going in the future. And a topic like this all I wanna do is just give her high angle man I love your awesome. A lesser car thank you so much for being forthcoming about your personal struggles and and what she does to overcome them. Doctor Weiss I got to share this message is a lot of our listeners decided they wanted to submit to the website some messages for us to read and this one is from alexion New Jersey. And she writes in 2016 I wanna contest to analysts see a car concert. I submitted a video of myself reciting a poem called a girl who stayed. Depicting my past suicidal mighty nation and it flows into the present or I chose to get help. My video was played on stage before she reforms scars to your beautiful. I've kept writing and I hope to write a book and be as speaker one day. To anyone struggling in fear may tell you your worthless the truth is you deserve to feel better healing is possible. Let's see man I. Thank you Alexi appreciated I'm glad you're keeping on and also yet please keep writing. Words like this they are awesome. And I can't wait to see you you publish that's that's happened a doctor Whiteside Alessio by the way is only 22 years old. Yet in honesty wise and I am that's fact. And she's so Reich has really yet it is okay to seek professional therapy. Celine you've guy you as legal as beer Pete Davidson they've all talked about this diabolical behavior therapy what is that and what does that it was suicide. Yeah that's a dialect of behavior therapy this is not an not a word at that many of us are familiar with dialect go but it what it means is that. Two things that are opposite can be too at the same time so a connected on just a second but tactical behavior therapy is this approach it helps us. To come up with coping strategies to manage SuSE thoughts in the moment to manage overwhelming emotions in the moment. And it teaches things like how to be more inner personally effective. How to tolerate overwhelming distress and net and up sat and how to be more and my painful had it headed to how to be more initially regulated. All of those things are part of the Truman come dialect tickle behavior therapy in in its. It and we developed by a woman named Marshall and hand who herself had experienced suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts but it was also. Spent her career trying to go back and rescue those who are in the state that she was but using science and her own personal experience so. Don't run the organization I run it now matters now dot org includes dialect co behavior therapy strategy on their so for free you can go and look. And that resource and get some ideas about that that treatment itself. So that's focused on emotions so. I I imagine in emotions are obviously and it's as some people maybe not play a big part in driving suicidal thoughts. Eight can you tell us is is there a way to suicidal people can cope with these emotions. Yeah absolutely and indices set back the one thing that happens is that sometimes people's emotions it's so intense silly kind of zero to 100 scheduled. As in the third 100 scale there might be an eighty urine ninety's or even a 10010. Out of a hundred. And when it's that high it's really hard to regulate and in so and beaten. Can become so painful that people will do anything that they can to try and escape. And so one strategy for example from dialect go behavior therapy is when you're at that high and the state can't think clearly cannot process clearly. When tragedy theme music splashing ice water in your face it sounds simple but it's actually something that is known to really bring down emotional distress to bring it down really rapidly. When somebody is having an overwhelming -- turn themselves so that they can begin to think more clearly and me and tell everybody. When you're suicidal. The last Tunisia do this is decide to tell yourself you can always do that later rate though when you're suicidal. That's not the time to decide whether or not tell yourself and that's something that dialect or behavior therapy teaches people how to do. While that's I mean I I do is flash wanna write a cold water on your face and it can be as simple as that because we heard from Lee. You know she wants to live even though she made that decision at that moment but you know it's just that one moment that's really not. What you should make a decision from. Rainy make up queen it's that you're getting through them moment this stock has some earlier problems but. With so important is that you survived the moment because this month will pass in his what people say over and over again it's Arkansas earlier problems. That's that's a larger project rates but let's tight that's key to this moment so that you can go on to make a life that you want to build a life that's reflecting. Joining us now is the most decorated Olympian of all time and just like many of us he's no stranger to the burden of stress and the struggles that we all have. And grateful how he was to share his story please welcome Michael Phelps thank you offer them. The thing it's really surprising Michael is you know as a layman and as a person that is Liz my life you see somebody who's accomplished what you've accomplished. Is such a great athlete of course celebrity all that our personal goal right there on top of the world they should have no problems and yet. You've got on the record usage you know what I I had a lot of struggles with a anxiety a lot of struggles with depression. And I thought you know this a good opportunity if you tell people and wanna know why why did you wanna get that out there especially because a lot of people would think really Michael Phelps has got issues with anything. I can say is an athlete you know I think we're supposed to be as big macho men and and we're not supposed to have any weakness or you know so it's like you know that's that's. Part of what makes us who we are so so we compartmentalize that and and we stuff away we don't talk about it then and you know we'd. Were forced to carry it through. Our careers long as that is and and you know do I think. That probably helped in some way yeah I might of throughout my career. Brit Brit. It's not healthy diet to carry something like that through life and end. You know ending in 2014. I just came to the point where. I was sick and tired of carrying it through my life and and I wanted to find change and and and that really I guess. For me forced me to become vulnerable. And and and I think that's also a very scary word for people here because it's it's change right it's something out of the norm that something completely different than you've ever done. I'm so so it. And essentially doesn't make you scared but. You know for me that was just something. That I was looking forward to those looking forward to finding that vulnerability because. You know I I I wanted to see change I wanted to see what else I could do you know what else I can do to help me and an end to make it change. It any time during those dark times did you ever contemplated suicide. Well of course. And who is without question it's it's been. 12 maybe three times that you know I think for me in in 2014. I found myself in that dark dark place where. You know and s's that I I didn't wanna be alive and those forty Israel is in my room. I'm by myself for not wanting to talk to anybody not eating anything not like literally not moving for three or four days. You know for me after sitting there and thinking about everything I I wanted to find a different way I wanted to find a different answer. I was sick and tired of feeling I felt then and just that opportunity of of almost like. Sharpening up your tools. You know that's kind of what I wanted to do and that's why I think that that's why I started to seek help and in and that's when I checked myself in a treatment center. And and since then I've I've been working with a therapist and then it's not something that I truly wanted to do back then that. You know I know it's something that has played a significant role in in making me who I am today in and feeling comfortable with who I am in my own skin and and you know that's. That's that's what I want that's what I want life to be Elena via what do. To live life and in and enjoy everything that I have and I think it's important just to find somebody you can talk to somebody you can trust. Whether it's a loved one or it's a third party. You know and I know. Murder. I I I've recently and I guess over the last years so. Started working with another company. Who who. And gives you the opportunity to get that help that. Tony four hours a day seven days a week in and he knows so it's so when I talk about therapy and I'm going to see a therapist. You know I know how difficult it is to see a therapist. The company you're talking about Michael is that talk space talk for Asia and and and I was just canal so bad that did the other cool thing that you know somebody doesn't wanna protect their anonymity they can. No they don't have to do a video call or. You know with their feet you know facetime call this and that they can pick up the phone call or they can just type. And and I think that. I for me personally I found has been a huge help. You know I will say to those who up until those who are out there who are hesitant about talking about it we're seeing somebody. You're not alone and because I was there as well. Mad I was scared to go into somebody and then to be judged but you know what at the end of the day they wanna help lessen and then I know. My therapist that I saw on Baltimore was who was he was there to help me and lived. Think about societies because of course when what we're doing today as we wanna change societies. View on mental health. On suicide suicide prevention and take the stigma away and one of the most successful things you can do to get a society to change. Is of course is you start with the children and I want to give a quick shot onto the Michael tells fund issue because you guys are doing some great stuff for cancer. Thank you. You know fervor for me we just celebrated our tenth anniversary. This past weekend actually and end. Not only is it for a healthy and active life thousand. Water safety for children. And we've recently added mental mental health component where we're trying to. Almost help kids talk about the emotions and the feelings that they go through then and and understand where they come from. You know that's why enjoyed doing what I do now and and and don't ever wanna get back in the pool because I feel for me. Saving a life is is much much more important to me than winning a gold medal and if I can save just one line. Then I feel like I've done something and that's all I wanna do now. I'm Michael I I couldn't have said it better and thank you so much for sharing your story. At a time where there's a lot of device of this in the world. A person just like yourself taking the time to just talk about yourself and what you're going through is perhaps one of the most unifying things anybody could do and and I appreciate you spending his time with us today thank you very very much for having me. Now when I tell you only because the fact that that that was a short piece that you heard actually this at this was edited Michael spent 25 minutes with me. He just sharing everything he sees so passionate about this if you wanna hear the entire interview again 25. Beautifully honest inspiring minutes you can go to the radio dot com app or to our website I'm listening dot org. Now I I am really fascinating is I'm a sports fan so I'm fascinated because I'm also a person that does creative stuff so. This correlation between. Creatives mental health issues and athletes. But the highs and lows of training competing or writing in Torrington where endorphins and don't mean are actually crashing your body until Whiteside. Think it. Wee hours about a couple different things here rate with the I want hand state finally got the other hand of people who. Push themselves to extremes who are often extremely perfectionist attic who. Who really care about what other people think of them because it it matters in a lot of ways now what what what will happen next. Until those two different that if those things don't go together in the right way things can go wrong meaning. And they can be afraid to comport and we have a lot to athletes to suit side. And and in part because a statement Chaman and that the which is quite likely that is in part teaching not quite some corny here people. Coming forward who aren't the top of their field or have been top of their field the sale lake. I'm willing to go first really take this risk an end and my case you heard Michael say like. And because if it's easily if it's totally worth it to me like I'm really willing to put myself out there. An app and take that risk so I think and very important and and yes and also we're so fortunate to have doctor Christina went skiing with us is dedicated to solving sports concussion crisis. So also bear Robinson the former Oakland raider football player leader in the shantytowns. About a few additional thoughts that he had from an athletic point of view. Thank you doctor whites I got a word doctor whisky you did the work he's doing is fascinating plus he's opening up a lot of people's eyes. And he will be joining us shortly like you said but first it's time to get back to some calls. Let's go to issue a shot and I should shot you. Are on I'm listening thank you for being with us. Our iron in my room actually shot their own. Thanks Suzanne and I hear yeah. I want to talk about nineteen and on again and I. Based on my opinions. About suicidal and being a can talk again. So. I mean. While the cat like in but a lot of my own question. Arm the aloha. Like. Won't blow dealt with those battles are asking. Like I normally because I'm Tom aka the and then they'll let. State of mind rider but when he had our digital content. I I do want to be here but is it like at that moment I don't know how to do it. The one thing I could do is cool. Would it do me a bit like up until that certain people like that. I am I don't I'm not bad on my own men and kind of cool but I. Yeah I I'm not that I thought he would have thought that yeah like it'll always calm. Would it help me bucks. Why can't I wouldn't we want it like to be honest I've been a lot of unplug the home where. They want he had fifteen 'cause like I guess I'm looking Asia and got so that are stretched. I'm gonna take a look eighty because they can raise them. Like mentioned unless they own kid and they took me about fourteen. That our own game and level alone in football decried the protection. Individual candidates and so they do it I don't. Yeah so to shiny I was gonna say what you've been through what you see the people around you going through it's it's. If we talk about depression right and there are many is white oppression is costing your situation where there's good reason to be. To be a lot of paint it's just didn't make complete sense and that one of the things that you find so useful as music and imagine it's probably something that's really distracting Korea. So it and thank you for you so much for calling and sharing your story to shop and we really pressed. Shana I would just like to add I also on of a child of the Foster care system so I know what you're talking about and it's one of my things that I talked because. The system could be so much better and and so we believe me what you see in how you're treated what's going on. You're absolutely right it should be better so. I hope you can hang on because I know what you're talking about and I need I want everybody to note that system our government. It's it we really need to make that pattern we yell and scream about a lot of things in the world when it comes to politics and government. That Foster care system could be so much better and you've just heard from to Shana that's why it needs to be better. It's I'm listening if you wanna share anyway this like it to Sean Elliott who's gonna I'm listening dot org that's we get that number plus a lot of other resources. Let's go to eye doctor Pete doctor Pete you are on I'm listening. Hey good morning folks and not thanks for having you are welcome doctor people who what you got sorcerer. I am a general pediatrician 28 years now in suburban New York's so about oh record and our above midtown Manhattan. And I've looked at first thank you all or raising. Any and all awareness that Buchanan that you obviously are doing or not I'm unaware down the anatomy crown. In a corner by the way I I'm just listening I thought gee let me just flown in at one. Thank you all for. Tripoli any awareness about two about suicide and two just a charity that has again as a general pediatrician I'm not care for children and I just MI don't. My family. I don't we treat you up from newborn to 21. Armchair with a couple torn it is alarming and amazing to me over the year increase in mental health issues in general in my patient. Went to Ali I think. Clearly the you know I've been clearly see I'm happy I could buy equipment yield on our. From anxiety and with depression. Thought now apparent that the that there are very aware of that. Any change in their child. Occurred that they should be all over are quite on reform and get to me that I wouldn't help. That's a great that's a great resource I mean seriously the fact the Euro also is a pediatrician on the lookout for this that's fantastic. Yes the some of the things that you might see in those kids what are some things that parents should look out for that you're noticing. Well you know any change in basically one on their expected general that is very delicate other than their basis on which hopefully is happy and healthy. And wants to around any changes you'll know in sweet. Either too little. Are much too much. Okay great yes of the state peace means soda. That the CP's been so incredibly critical. Doctor Pete thank you so much for being with us I really really appreciate that that is so cool to know that. We've got a lot of people from a lot of different angles watching our kids that's important because that's the future that's fantastic. I'll want to thank you all again for joining us today I'm BJ Shea. Along with me doctor Ursula Whiteside and this is I'm listening and earlier ma'am we heard so many great things so refreshing to heal from I hear from off a lesser car and the healing she's done. Also material I Jerryd Leno also Mike Chenault they all have current songs that address personal struggles with the anxiety. Leno has rescue me car has growing pains and she noted has crossing the line after Mike's entire solo album post traumatic. Is a journey from dark to light. And here he is which is very personal account of losing his Lincoln Park and make Chester Bennington to suicide last year. Mental health and my anxiety depression and suicide that. These things I feel like these things were already being talked about. It's so much before Chester passed away. And now that I'm kind of you know be in the situation where people ask me that question all the time. It's. I think one thing I learned is that mental health is it just flights. It's not state of being it's like it's almost like think about it like fitness or think about it like something where you've got to scale of like. How how are you doing right now and so. There's an awareness mental health is all about being aware of how my doing today like if you say on a scale of one to ten how healthy are you. And that's your state of mind it's kind of like. You don't ever want to dip below certain levels who you if you think about like. What is my mental health right now and it feels like it's low you're looking at your spouse or friend or whoever insane idea and he said I think that there. Touting a really bad day or they're having a really bad time. It's it. It shouldn't be cause for concern should be cause for action. And I think that's really that's really the thing and when we talk about. Anxiety depression mental health and all that that's the thing I hope people do more often this is. Be open about the communication about it and say. Hey I'd love to talk about that thing but I'm having a really bad day and here's why. Or if you can't say why didn't just accept that somebody says I can't deal with that right now and come out and about time. Because the more you talk about that stuff the more open you are about your the things that are going on. The last scary they are they even if it's something that just is really bothering you. I'm talking about it helps and so that's I always encourage people to do that. And obviously. There's. On the other side of the spectrum there are mental health professionals for reasons like. I don't know nearly what they know about how the brain works and how our emotions work on it and there there are actually specific techniques that you can use. To deal with problems that you might happen whether that be depression or. We'll see if he or some of the other things like there are actual little tricks and and and things that you can incorporate into the into moments when you're feeling bad. So it's talking to professionals actions very can be very helpful. Our thanks to Mike should go to from Lincoln Park for his time and his thoughts and and I really wanna thank everybody who who's called in today and also. The folks that submitted their story and via our website I'm listening dot org. Here's timely message from Jennifer in Los Angeles she writes I have suffered from depression since I was a small child I'm also look cutter. I tried and my life twice. I finally found out at 44 years old. There is hope I'm taking may head's going to counseling and for the first time in my life. I feel happiness. I never thought I'd know what happiness was. But I do now it took me 44 years but I finally conquered these demons that I thought would control me for ever. When Chester passed. It was my wake up call to get help he was my inspiration. Jennifer I wanna thank you for sharing that man glad to stand strong I mean and really you are an inspiration everyone listening as well. A doctor Whiteside Jennifer's note does raise a lot of the questions I mean if we're wary that someone in our life is thinking about suicide. What are some of these we should be looking for what you would be listening for is is there anything we can do to help them and sometimes you hear things like he didn't really wanna die it was to get attention. Or if he was serious he would have told anyone. But Chester Bennington for example he someone who was public. Lead vocal about his demons he and the interesting thing about suicide as he could feel more than one way about it and I don't think that we really get that. You can actually both want to live learn on a diet the same time in these are action may be two very separate scales. That you could have. An eight on in terms of wanting to live. And also an aid in terms of ninety Diana that both of those may vary on a day to day basis and think from that perspective can help us understand people. Who who in May be hard to make sense of their behavior and at. Maybe they are showing that they pilot but they're also showing that they wanted to nicer. You can think about in terms of those two different scales that can be hopefully you can both want to live and wanted to die and differing degrees in the pac can actually chain and it dated date basis. So how to how to be helpful to people. They were gonna keep talking about this your hand we're hearing from people who so many useful things that weren't helpful from for them and then things that they do for other people to be helpful. And one of the most important things is that the name of the show is I I'm listening to show they year they are that your president and that whenever somebody says. If they are willing to take the risk to to say TU I'm having east not sort of say I'm really struggling. That they. And that that you're gonna be present in witnessed that gift and they you know can panic and say you're not gonna treat them as weird because. Mean we all have this darkness within an exit and that time it needs a witness. So if we know someone is acting different than usual mean that we can we really know what someone is feeling or know why they're doing what they're doing. I I see people get into trouble all the time here where they think. Well if if they really felt this way they would have done nets if they were if they are really suit settled they would have killed themselves are just doing this for attention or. He knows that that that person doesn't love me because they're at they're not showing these certain ways. And that is routine just like anytime we think that we know what's going on someone's head especially without asking them. Where we get ourselves into a spot of trouble and it goes back to they're talking earlier about not being judgmental. About being kind of change anytime we're putting an assumption that is. Ethnic assuming that someone has Mal intent or assuming that they earn and that or whatever it is that that that I can action. Even really. Make constituent equation much worse and at what other choice to just be really mindful of your words and that's when it comes back to be mindful of your boards and your assumptions and your interpretations. Thank you doctor Whiteside let's take another call let's go to Melanie. Melanie you're on I'm listening good morning. And and what's your story. Well what are they did a bad blood that that I am. And Euro African American male and a arts and whitbeck at what I was younger I was brought out our art ear. In predominantly white school and later on an elementary we moved to another city and then came out and intercity schools. And which where of course predominantly black. And trying to switch between the culture look really hard and and you know you get may have been pat and and from hell hole where I went the abuse my mother went Libyan government and neither one of them got that taking care. Oh when it happened. And you know we were able to express it then and and noticed the epidemic. And still toward legal and Hawaiian and color. And it'll also. A bigger and neo soul boy and that in school it would really hard and the part that. Kind of broke it for me out of the great I had no hang it you know the way out and do it holiday. Actually my sister and brother and relax and is not just EU Howard disappeared it would also looked at the end of and that would apply for me that was the turnaround. And one car band change. Because and one of them and it GAAP leaders are within ourselves out there and it. I didn't get any help until actor. Turns out oh and an. Now that they can't cheat at that one of the things that's how it went well because I like being. Actually so I don't wanna do here there. You know. Because they are what's key to meet or. Austin county Melanie we love it thank you so much for telling us your story and event receiver just. The outsider in so many different contacts and and wet it would here in just repeat me or just correct if I'm Roman. Being outsider it wasn't until you realize like wait wait a second my siblings are going to the same thing. And it fit that it that it felt a little bit different than it felt a little bit more tolerable to feel less so. Yeah yeah I think too you know when we're in that position of being outsider right with room you know we're in this outsider position. And people treated differently it's really because they don't know what to do with us because they haven't had a similar experience they don't know what to make us and and one of the things that we know where are realizing in the field of suicide is that we've left out people of color. Make. And I bet you can and and American African American how poll. And canceling it like XP that didn't gently you're currently and you don't want to play Creighton to anybody an a NN I actuality. There are so many people that I talk to even you know come and in my life or bulletin that went with the nobody will talk to. Talk about the door open about it. You would never know. Yeah that's the thing I doctor Whiteside you know the mental health awareness and and and suicide awareness. It knows no color knows no gender no gender identification no sexual orientation. Everybody. On this planet it's everybody and it's the one thing that really is unifying is that we all got this. Yeah Melanie springing up so many good points and in the media portrayal of mental illness it's often if not always white people that receive images of are stranger address of it is so whitewash him when I make great fantastic colleagues. DR Vargas who wrote. A book of the color of the mine that portrays people with a different colors. And talking about their experiences with with mental illness. It's an issue she's somebody look up says and the color my mind. Or that put people comment Obama's project there's images of people. Who who do different and then then what you're seeing in mainstream media and their story says that the people of color mental illness pageant. And I and Melanie and everybody thank you for the emails in the attacks and the calls because. You let us know just how together we are I mean that's just a beautiful part of I'm listening. And it's just it really really is wonderful and if you wanna join the conversation. I'm listening dot org that's the website there's a lot of great stuff on there that's we'll get our number that's really get a lot of great resources you can hear some of these interviews in their entirety. It's it's it's a great resource for you again I'm listening dot org. And joining us now we have to doctor Chris Liwienski doctor Lewinsky. Is frequently credited with being the person most responsible. For bringing the concussion and CTE crisis to the forefront of suicide discussions. Doctor whiskey welcome to I'm listening. Thanks rab her the fascinating thing about your story now loves talking about a person's journey is your dude playing college football venue go to pro wrestling. And somehow you're now a doctor with a Ph.D. how we go from that a all the way to do is be. Football got in the wrestling because there wasn't done now trying to challenge myself physically but unfortunate kick in the head in 2003 and I developed post concussion syndrome. Which had some sort of still have to this day and it was really difficult to go through headaches and and don't depression and always on there. Things that come with that it and then in trying to get myself but I realize that there was a problem that we could solve our parents I've been committed to another concussion CT issue ever since. And that journey has brought it to a lot of us stunning revelations. About many pro athletes in the world of hockey in the world of football you really felt. There was something going on with the connection of brain injury concussions things happen in sports. And the suicide which I think is fascinating. What was your first inkling that you thought hey there's something going on here oh and and it's it's just not accidental there's a connection. So I learned about CPU and I was running a book called head games that came on 2006. And just after they came out and they were there were two cases of NFL players a CT in the literature. And the second one meticulously carried along at the age of 45 and then it player I grew up watching him Andre waters who played for the Philadelphia Eagles and NFL. He took his life and I remember thinking gosh you know I never hear a lot of concussions and I wonder if the concussions might have something to do with with. How we passed away and I wonder kids TTE and that's led to us now having the brains or 600. Athletes and military veterans. Of which many have taken their own lives. And we've learned a lot about the relationship between now and impacts and brain injury and brain disease and the relationship with suicide and it's. No surprise that you've literature has been out there for a long time saying brain injury can increase your risk of suicide and having. Been through that I can I can understand line and now we're starting to realize that maybe there's also that connection with CT. Does it was Q I am so happy we're talking about this and again CT is chronic traumatic. Encephalopathy which is are basically an injury that caused the running of the brain in my eyes is that correct that's emerged simple way to put us and from what I can tell Chris we can't diagnoses TE lost someone is still alive is that correct that's correct. And so all the work that you've done into CTE is there any way you think that we can should take these findings take your research. And really put them into smarter and safer sports with what the world of football and hockey people love the game the way it's played. And aid is there a way to make it safer but still allowed a game to be played in weather be hockey football or something else. That's a great question and I think the simple answer is. We can keep making modest changes to the professional college sports so we'll get safer and safer. But those are adults playing in males don't have to necessarily be really safe. The actual biggest way we can solve this problem is by changing youth sports. I think we got lost somewhere along the way where we've decided that the youth sports have to look like the adult sports and therefore we have kids now play as well like football getting him had 600 times in the year ending their eight years old that's completely unnecessary and that is what our findings laying. The seeds for CT that CT he is not concussions but it's related to how we hit so had you taken how many years you're doing that if you take a thousand is that for twenty years. Almost every case you look at who had CTV so let's change youth sports ensor vice to parents. Don't play tackle football until your high school. Keep your kid out. Don't let them check and ice hockey and they've been is not allowed now until thirteen. And don't let them have soccer balls until high school. If you don't hit your kidney hand while they're young they're praying can develop normally and then it might. They might be resilient to those hits that come later on if they continue playing sports. But if they don't choose to not play sports and they all have a basically is your risk of CP if you have now been hitting them and had an answer. Great feeling to have a. And again we're posting on our side various ways that you can support the concussion legacy foundation. This is a big issue that's connecting substance abuse connecting suicide connecting all sorts of horrific things to brain injury and it is so wonderful that they're all coming together all being brought to light. And whatever you can do to help we we have all the links are up and I'm listening dot or you can get the information there. And I doctor Christopher no win ski we appreciate. The time the dedication and of course the physical things you've had a went door. To bring light to this and to make this something that we can have hope that someday can be fixed can be held. And will really just you know and some tragedies that I appreciate everything you've done in this. Dogs truly been a pleasure speaking to you and thank you for shedding light on this important issue. At bay derby was this morning taking part our national dialogue because this is time listening. Today we are addressing the stigma of talking about mental health. And also raising awareness for suicide prevention. And if you would like to continue listening to the broadcast on mobile or digital you can do so all you do is his go to the radio dot com app you can download it now. This full podcast will also be on the app and on our website phone and to show. And if you would like to join the conversation. It's very simple audio dude I users just gonna I'm listening dot org we have a telephone number there. That's where we also have great resources for you and the world mental health and suicide awareness. Thanks for being with us today this is I'm listening you want more information about the show. How you can share your story to end the stigma of talking about mental health and resources even visit. Just go to the website I'm listening dot org and if you feel like you need help right now please please call the national suicide prevention lifeline and 180273. Tock that's 1802738255. And if you rather text. It's simple just text the word hello to 741741. And you can start a conversation. Coming up we've got Brantley Gilbert Charlie food Stone Temple Pilots and more. But more importantly we really want to hear from you your stories are so powerful and so unifying. Let's take another call we've got Joshua Joshua you are on I'm listening hello. But thank you grab on here are. That's it you're very welcome Joshua what's your story. Well. I've actually develop anxiety and depression for over ten years and I didn't really know what it was. And still. I had a breakdown by Alice. I was in an element pared earlier than. I was just I was really angry like I have a purple wall anger whenever I get very depressed and anxious. And I realize that's not the way to go about it and is now multifamily knows they're willing to help. And that's as rare. As my family day as they realized that. I want help and tool which then we're going to help the cereal so for me. He Joshua what is it that your family does that is helpful to people can. Wanna be helpful in not know how to be helpful was so what have you told them to do to be helpful. Whatever. Autograph actually I need help to actually step up then call me a word message me and say hey what's going on. And recently out and as I got an extent Dara. Followed law. And he's my wife stepped down and he's been doing what depression where twenty years he says look. I can election I can try to help the adventures similar things. And really reaching out to me like that has helped it's I gotta say it's eye opening that. Family members so close they enters similar. Situations there's Burt stuff like that. Kathy and yet I Joshua. And it it really helps to have that support group ain't even and had a friend forever twenty years to I didn't rise he's been gone through depression or start sense. As enemy but there. Is an amazing Joshua and thank you so much for calling it's so amazing because that would here we are going through we go through. Our friends somebody right across from us. Because of this stigma well we don't talk when we could be so helpful to each other that is why I'm listing is it's it's just amazing. How close we are to what we need the salvation we have no idea we feel so alone and their right there. And there are so many people who do wanna be helpful they just don't know how to be helpful that's why I asked him I'm what is it that they did that was hopefuls are thinking for you. What is it that would be helpful would it be telling someone help me get out of my head and having them tell you the story distract you and in any way possible or would it be. Then coming in sitting next to you what would it be that you actually lay that would be hopeful that situation and in and best case scenario let people know how to time what would be helpful like creating eighteen can't create a team people who you can rely on Entrust. Who know what to do and then who who you are also so that you can Cindy you also know what to do. To be helpful for them you know what is it that would be hopeful for them to do. And how can you you know when you're suffering can't communicate and knowing that they can hear passed to some thoughts on. And if you would like to take part in the conversation you can go to our website to get the telephone number I'm listening dot org Mike you are on I'm listening to morning. A mortar and our usual good thank you Micah what you have forest and Acer. Well basically here to stowed in the medical report tomorrow where my upper stories started out really well. Probably a good warm. Bed and my best for him I mean this guy was my best the whole wide world. He called me twenty more outward forward committed suicide and I didn't know if you've got to commit to with that they have no clue about it. And would have to work chain came to my house about walk up to the more than it was like still can't come gore to get some gold to their. And I talked to sit there are a lot of good and they do you do not like you're fortunate spoke well on the rue. Don't know how fortunate person is. When they built with the with the ability. Apple would want to. And like I. I would like this I would like deposit in my 'cause you just said something that's really important and I would like doctor what's had a talk about them we'll go back to submit another part of your story but Mike is a survivor like he was at the epicenter of somebody else that we that he lost to suicide like that. And that I know was happening in my life with the win with my daughter and that's I mean the person that's still here. That is so close to that. They do too big to go through a lot and I didn't know how to help the person it's still here and and and if you have any comments on my doctor white's. You know when somebody dies by suicide and you've been a witness even in the person's life you know you really need to take it's seriously that you you've been through a trauma that you buy. By proxy by being so close that person your risk of depression and anxiety and even suicide increases. Think it is important that that did the people know of the to take care somebody who has been through something like that do you center Mike. And Mike what is it what is the other story you'd like to share with a sir. And mark it's my virtual brainstorm you know he's going to look at Maryland he believed would bat ears of Crohn's Disease and usually. Go to a lot of exciting was it is more him things that changes so we'll wait. So Torre comes to let you go all I wanna kill Michael. And I'd. I would get upset master at work or whatever. But situation. And I've talked to him about it not like where they were here because. I'm collective and Al were also refused to understand this about suicide is awarded the main Specter about what's. When. You cool. I give it or what excuses world. Just think about. All. About. A Google well. Also it will be is some. Because now old Burton is so important oh hole and what that will there really would. Care about. And I've been going to purchase at LaGuardia and more Americans were there. Although the number of service as Walcott this little local and they say they will all come together and say you know well. I don't what do you also because the port where the quarters spoke about I don't wanna look whereas other what do you must look at the bogey is quick and my lets them. Mike you said Mike you says some beautiful words you are absolutely right we all have to come together and I and I do appreciate the call home and by the way Mike real real quick. Week as we heard from Mike McCree approach him earlier. Mike McCready has Crohn's Disease and he has been soul open about what he's gone through with that disease so. If you gain if you can go find my repeat does all these are he does like benefits for Crohn's Disease he's very open about it maybe there's something there that your nephew your grandson could actually be inspired by this. That helps us if we can find somebody who's been in our shoes that well we can look up to or you think OK they're still living their life and a successful fashion. I I I I gotta think that's helpful. Now when you're looking in when you drank it do something find somebody finds somebody you you can look up to you talked about how they did it. You know get therapy do all the things that find somebody you can use as an example he also made another plane which was that. When you kill yourself. And eat you put those that you at risk so you may feel like complete bird and that total mess. But just think this means that if you leave that means your little brother. Lower ET here sister you're on. Terrorists for suicide goes up so it's not just about unum we're not telling you that feel guilty. And and we we're not seeing suicide is selfish but we are seeing their real impact here's a real impact when you tell yourself and in an and it has a broader reach than you might anticipate. And we had a previous caller who her level of awareness of that was amazing because that's what she said. Was a reason why she didn't because she didn't want to give that burden to anybody else and it took to people about in their last moments before they were about it tent that image of somebody came into their mine and they realized. I can't do this to and I can't get the outs with Stockton so we you know rate now be free get to that point I don't. Don't immediately you could put somebody else you care at greater risk encrypt them through more suffering. I surely hope Michael you also have people you can talk to people you can be with thinking TV a lot of love because you deserve it man no doubt about it. It's I'm listening and if you would like to call in or get any of the resources that we have available today. At or if you missed some of the interviews that we've done every there's some good ones all at the website I'm listening dot org as we get the number to Colin. Let's talk to Christine Christine you are on I'm listening. I don't I Christine my hood for good when I went which is story today. I'm. Eight app. Do I kill her and I blocked it right there and I'd explain it at the bank are acting backlight. Eight Larry at my. It tracks in Tempe emotionally at duke it out back to wrap it unfortunately parents out there emotionally abused they. Well unfortunately there aren't too. That would keep the crowd right into the Brett looked great tell. Am not color. And actually I basically. Go to black law. Maybe we'd like attract I think everything they hurt me but chocolate a day. And at stake in I pay packet that eight you know. I built a bit. Do therapy and do. Yemen app I'll be at PT. Add. And act like. It might that aren't. Elect I meditate or how I act at noon because it would happen. Anything it out at me but I did that morning. But like I admit it now actually got it it's an analyst at saint and I. And I can't believe they they all in all it all like it until it looked like my current. So what I opt out there I hit it. Look at it 390. Yeah. Yeah yeah. What I do at bill that is what I turn it. They act and be a motivational speaker and I like to educate people all it helped tank the go. Op well. Because Mercury and Eric I thought I bet get my app that helped out an appetite. You know doctor Whiteside and Christine you have YouTube you Manuel said some some good stuff today the idea this whole cognitive behavioral therapy. Because of the reality is. We know is that we get hurt when we get hurt at that time that we get hurt and then every time we re live that. We're the ones doing the reliving that the heard only happen that one timer how many advertising revenue like and every time we go back to that that's us and that's what that whole therapy is all about. Yet Christine Quinn had a couple of things and 11 thing that I think at least keep in mind is that when we've been through traumatic things you know. He may have happened for ten years in Manhattan for twenty years or maybe it was just a one time thing that was so awful. It is it's gonna take your time it's gonna take time for our brain to rewire mean media ourselves patients have permission to do that. And when we did do that. Is to do something every day it networks trio had a consistency how that pattern you're hearing people give examples of things that they found that work for them. The consistency piece there is key. Is your sense early rewiring your brain you're doing something different and and I wanna be cleared this is really important if you're if you're trained. Feel different trying to change it's going to be uncomfortable. Before it's comfortable. Meaning don't give up blitzers get uncomfortable because that means actually probably on the right path know that it's going to be hard before it's easier. And that is something it's just everyday life of people don't know I mean if you could hit the lottery and get a time money and it would still be uncomfortable to have that different like even though it might be benefit if you have no money. The idea that getting comfortable beyond uncomfortable that is that is a cool thing and that's what's a bus talking about the steps and everyone should know for helping someone and emotional pain. He has so what is it that people want that who are suicidal what is that you can do it too to be helpful. Mean I think one of the most important thing to weep at alluded to this habit before is Tina panicked. So to be president but also to not panic and to be mindful we talked about my infamous as well Michael this is about paying attention it's about choosing what to pay attention to and to be. All in. You know instead of plan worrying about what you're gonna say here what you gonna do next it's hearing that tone of the person's voice. Looking in their eyes and seen but with their eyes are doing its holding their hand it's being really present. Those two things not panic in him being present are really important in and in and in addition to that. I would say also providing some hope. Don't get too early may don't say in your pocket it can be better don't worry you're really trying really tough that's not the first thing he say the first scene is to listen. It's I'm listening to list and then also in there to make sure that that person knows that you do you see their strength that each you have hope for them don't have that be the first thing he taught them. And I like to introduce a guest who has some tips on every day practices that she does. To combat some of her basic anxieties. In fact if you listen to the literacy BB Rex is latest single I'm a mass. You'll even hear her candid approach. So we're welcoming all Rex ours to the program here's BV. What I need to control anxiety as much that he exercising it really does help me and sometimes things I will be so crazy I can run like 45 miles on the technologists like we're. Ron and like I suddenly get all like senior Allen. I hate working out but it like really really does help. But I found that Natalie dean Koreans on my back I sit com boxy. So late I'll I'll go to kick boxing classes and only punching the punching bag. I could really help silk. Aegis like. Punching out and then another way in ninety eat a lot of to sweeten the iPad but that just makes you more bummed out side Mimi more depressing than I got anxious because of back. So I was sick of boxing exercise really helps and meditations. In honestly Chile talking to somebody adding it's really really empower it. Like I having a therapist I have. There decides it's really really important things house. Yeah those are all good things look I'm I'm I'm a guy that was my sweets and and she's right I really gotta be careful attack as the crash can sometimes just be it can put me in such a low space. But the exercise the therapy like BB. Alessio Kyra. Michael Phelps say all advocated this and yeah it is vitally important to just get moving whenever you can and of course talk. It saves lives so please remember reach out and it is OK to ask for help. Our next guests are Jennifer Nettles and Kristian bush of the superstar country group Sugar Land. They have been making music since 2002. And and had waving success and the list of awards and accolades his band is perceived as real damage is too there's just too many can't imagine. But we DHS to catch up when Jennifer Christian. To talk about the song not the only which is quite appropriate for today's discussion. As well as the thoughts and their host for everyone to make sure they do talk about their issues. The back story heard not the only is this is it's really a sweet story that Christians brought in during our time we are writing we were in New York he was sitting outside waiting ten. To come in for our session and then. Watching the people go by and thinking about all those people in and how many people that there are in that great city in India how you know we can also be isolating and lonely and what that feels like to be lonely I. Being the most important thing when you listen to the song not the only is to pay attention to. How it makes you feel which part pushes you over the edge I know when Jennifer and I'm playing every night we kind of look at each other and there nights that I could name and seen parts of the song. Because it was so close to home tell me I'm not the only one here feeling lonely told me don't have to try so hard life's hard end. And no matter who you are no matter. How successful you are how many things are going well for you everyone's got their own problem relatively speaking and it's just that you have to try so hard to keep it all on track. It's why when we do talk about comforting each other's specially when you're talking about something as private as mental illness you kinda wanna talk about it to anyone but this song is saying out loud you have to be. I yourself. I think the biggest thing did that we can all Jeanne. Is to talk you know in to talk to those people and our lives who are suffering I don't think there's anyone who hasn't been touched. By someone in their lives if not themselves. With moments of of either depression or anxiety. And I think they're they're especially used to be such a stigma and it didn't do I think when it's something that's mental health. That it signifies a week Nasr is signifies. Gergen it's not real there's so much is he not around as typing talking about it an understanding and learning about it and hearing about it from the perspective. Of people who experience it is is super important. I think the most important step and the first step of dealing with the mental illness is. Speaking. You have to actually let the information leave your brain and your heart can get out your mouth and then the fears that you probably gonna get judged for it. The world is under a great deal pressuring their own ends the year not. Expected to withstand all this stuff can and walk around smiled when you when you don't feel good when you feel down about this stuff and especially when it gets past a certain. Space where you can't move if you'll start talking to somebody they can't help you so. The first thing you need to do is start speaking if you can speak about it. Someone can hear it and once they're listening then it becomes easier to say the next sentence and then they can compete. Thanks to Jennifer Christian from Sugar Land for sharing the positives of the new song not the only which sheds light on not feeling alone. But satellites are some that we care about who is struggling gets serious travelers does something really wrong. Let's be frank does that increase their risk for suicide and if so what should we do. Absolutely are so let's say that something you've been in some kind of legal trouble right. Media deal I people's risk of Hussein does increase when Nate has. Gotten in trouble with the or are going to something and you know. They don't look good you know with we're not looking publicly that we leaking. And be at greater risk for suicide and if your friend or somebody's going to shatter even just in Queens it's important for you to say things like. You know you're gonna get through it now's not the time to make any important decisions just hang in there and you know eat your focusing on the fact that that their behavior was not okay but it's not that's not who they ER. To your separating those two things out but he's supporting some who's going to something really bad you're having them focus on getting through it not make any decisions right now. Let's take another call Sarah you are on time listening stakes ring with a Sarah. How I think you did he make him. There's damn good morning so what's your what do what do you have for Sarah. I have been and not on both and. The phone so I bend the line and calling for help and I have been a lie and can act as a fun. He. And yet at my perspective he. And so what it is knowing both of those things I can relate to that and stuff thank you for me to what when it went in the that you note that you notice having been in both of those rules. I guess plague. Looking back on it I relay is you know. There's a lot of like pressure and both men though it may cause your friend. You want to call your friend you not calling a confession on. And you want an end to the time not as a professional diet and different. You know so. Then what can your friends say. As someone that's not a professional RAI. OK what do you capable of doing right now. And they and what that what they're really entered a game and we really capable of being behind me the biggest month. Amazing thing for me marina is getting out and going to negotiate. And then I come home and I think I'm being analyzed and I bent on something ain't so that mine at lake Mary T. Still on the other hand my friend Billy. I ain't so if going grocery shopping I did they let us continue to do like progress is stepping had a split. Let's. Yeltsin and together yeah how inept person you really need January here patent and they're not necessarily a therapist or anything that he his his listening in and says okay you can do that carried many do it via. Yeah and it may be at kind of talking about my problems. In the meantime possibly belly up criteria. Yet sometimes you know. Yeah being distracted and say let's not underestimate the power of being distracted me feel awful like let's take advantage of that than having somebody distract us or. And distracting yourself with a game or movie or hearings don't really. Yeah I have seen that Graham and the like I think ill placed. It's not attacking that living Nike needs had kids and oh yeah that's right. It's super important and if you violate your tribe with cute Italian tax incentives pass there it is. That I love that sir thank you so much for that it really is so important. It's that you just get funny new engine and being around other human beings that you know support you. And from and that's good news media I have to do anything which is biewer. And I know that that can have a big help on you. Just being there. And if you're just joining us I'm BJ Shea. And this is I'm listening it's a national conversation about mental health awareness and suicide prevention on the way we have Charlie who. Stephen Jenkins from third sideline and AC MNC Emmy award winner Brantley Gilbert and if at any time you'd like more information about the show we want more information on mental health. Suicide prevention it's simple just visit our website. I'm listening dot org that's also where the phone numbers if you wanna call it in and talk with us next up. We've got the lead singer for the UK band that nothing but thieves Connor Mason Connors public revelations of his personal battles with mental health during the band's first torque. Have drawn nothing but positive attention around the world and the whole band has become a huge advocates for Europe and UK's I am whole campaign. Which encourages young people to challenge negative language around mental health. Here's Connor is not a big pop culture and I'm I'm not sister in the US by machine things the same thing Burris to your ear kind of up so. Sharia and the humour and whether that means you know and and that sucks so. When it happened it was myself and dealing with that. And and being very prison and Andy and aware that. And I was like I need to talk about this right about listened and and makes you more aware and there was definitely. And incentives insurgents that they in the year in the UK and others artists. And more diversion rumors of male and female. Organ about it and I look this is fantastic. And she helped me like. These are musicians see which will be about the same sort of thing I'm on the road how it affected them. And one thing that's enough conspiring to borrow. And it felt nice in a way that I could inside. Didn't have the same story is them I could get to the fact that it was alone with them so who they're meeting at a do that in some people. Some fans of Gaza anyone's view then anyone you can have some self. Help for men or even just the comfort knowing that they're not learned that that's so important. And just in terms of you know it's there. The open man and and and acknowledge we have that's a ways it's about his days is decent conversation that he when he tapped and that's why I'm Chara wanna. I wanna get out to the public with my platform that does help licences so listen to yourself. Have a conversation with your loved ones about an. Act upon it immediately. Talk about it. See the science I didn't for about nine months I didn't welcome the signs of them. Sleep less I got addicted to send things to help me sleep. Am and then then all the ins and also took took a total to about eight months of struggle with a sleep and not fight. Full body suit all on the song about a Serena who to some and about as soon as they just get on with my life. I wouldn't of wouldn't let meets these. Answers such a horrible year on tape so then I'd say. Listen just of his new body and have a consistent with someone as soon as you can about it but don't be afraid of them. Maybe didn't grab me then. You have battle depression for some time now. And you have a song get up which is it which is all about that in that. Brent Smith sir are singer and move and main lyricist stuck in the clear about who then and there and you have gone mad about it I think when first the became the bullet which don't we met more likely linger or wrote this about you and you Ian any decent to remove and there are. Our trip to Europe where our conversation I had of the week prior it would close sometimes it's depression it's easier down that I don't know if it. If I want to continue to musical broke because of anxiety in the because of the darkness and that sort of religious symbol on what was. Being an artist so I think a lot of the time and end session on that it did battles what I what I try to battle and honestly man when it was done. I was really proud Burke and I was proud that I'm able now to talk about this in a way to go out there and you talk about because I kept private with just my wife about the nature of life Michael Stanley. And it's been some of the best there the other. Com being able to you have fans reach out to dinner and meet and greet his thanks for talking about it and the united brings to light something good I'm really becoming passionate about which news. Two communication amongst people who have depression and in an anxiety and commit these suicidal cotton to each other. Is such a huge thing in China realized there because in helping each other and listening to each other and talking to each other you sort of feel better. There aren't people that are going through depression at a very young age and when he it's really just. At its height when you just feel your heaviest do you feel like there is no hope there is no energy and when it gets so low that you just can't even see reason. This is where I'd get up and chrome go to term care look who's. For me I have to stay busy. That's always help me exercise it has been crushing huge and when I go to the gym every day maybe you can maybe one day we Coca. It is not from my body come alive and. What I've noticed is that folks that don't deal with this. They do have a sort of fear like all my guy should I wanna be helpful I don't want anything bad to happen what do you tell people like you wiping your band mates about how what is to be around you and the best thing they can do. The first thing is you speak just to be a deterrent to someone who you know is going through this they don't choose to be the corner because the reality. And there to. Listen to them and it's our Q about it and understand this or you'll you'll hear a lot of talk about it. Don't be offended by their by the way they act. The community that deal all of a sudden one discovery is when you open up and say this is was going on me. You first of all you get community and then the scope of that community we might be part of the biggest group of humans the biggest tribe. Does feel better when you go all those things go well I'm I'm I'm a fairly I had no idea. Imagine if the most popular girl in school walked into the support room and good. Kitty gets picked on the most in school than they're glow and they look at each other and they realized that there is no more difference between the coop them. At all. And they can help each other. You know how you use and have breakdown sukuk socioeconomic. All the breakdown you know everything. It definitely background everything could have been pulled away from the locker room like that and see others that. We're just like you depression and analysts. Don't care where you come from are you are and all of those people that have it no matter orchard Barack Obama's. You can help each other. Eric bass from the bench shined down thank you so much for joining us today and I'm listening. He did thanks so much and thank you for having me ever really appreciate corruption and to speak almost. So great that Erica join us and the support that he has from the guys and shine down and his family it's what we on the it is truly inspiring. And I say we take another call again if you like to get the number or any information you've heard today and in the interviews or any resources to school and I'm listening dot org. Brandon you are and I'm listening thanks for being with us today. Thanks I mean you're welcome Brendan that what do you have forced today. I just want to Colin and share my own personal stories and struggle with depression Durham allies and then. Just hopefully maybe helps someone else out there. Well that that is what today is all about random what what would you like to say that you think could help us with what's gone on in your life. Well when I was thirteen years old then look out at and high school. I didn't really know how to handle. Coming out and don't let all those. The public's reactions is me being openly gay and I was twelve and import of school harassed a teachers even the superintendent of prince or no indeed think it helped me. And teachers started to turn on me I didn't know what else to do so. I tried to kill myself 19 it. That was all of all of those authority figures people are supposed to love you and help you. Brent immersive it. I mean it was super hard speaking like my impressionable years you know and and I mean this flu like. Almost two decades ago some of the totally different time coming out but. It was really hard and I didn't know what to do or where it's earned and so I don't just stop there in in my life so the only answer. It's and yeah I think you print it really speaks to that idea they if you Eee PC something going on blitzer irresponsibility do something about it like world all response blank and nobody. They weren't there for you at that time it your stirring now people hearing it does make a difference. We know that we can we see happening we can make a difference they did by stepping in saying it's not okay. Brandt thank you so much for the call it's and it's another issue that we have you know we heard we've heard from people of color and how isolated feel and of course. Folks are of any sexual orientation that is not accepted and the isolation may feel. Yeah it has to stop we just have to love each other we really really have to be kind of each other. Our next guest is pretty outstanding his successor more than speaks for itself. Multi platinum hits attention Marvin gay we don't talk anymore of course is breakout single see you again. Charlie who called road record and produce his entire album himself with a separate swan song. And as you can imagine even with his Mets success yeah he too has his demons and we caught up with Charlie any told us how he copes and surrounds himself with support. I just surround myself with my family. And if you don't really have a big family just surround yourself was on your closest friends and and peers and it's it's pretty amazing how other people can. Listen one up just from their energy alone. Mental health in general is not who we looked down upon it's a very serious thing and it's important to your mind is healthy just as much your body. Physically is helping. And you know that there is Charlie proved no bully so much going up and just amazing just amazing how he's below overcome all that. To become a possible star and also. To you know it's just really dig himself and and wanna be here on this planet I mean that that's amazing. And I'm sure another story that was submitted our website this is a message from the tally up from Richmond Virginia. She writes I've experienced a friend with suicide but I told about Charlie coats music and Sean Mendez and their music. Helped it's so much. And we heard from time we've heard this so many times about how music with their listening to it or playing it. Continues to help so many people through dark times the healing properties of music. Truly powerful. We talk what might she noted earlier about how he losses Lincoln Park and make Chester Bennington to suicide. As some of you might not know but Chester also funded the great Southern California band Stone Temple Pilots for awhile. And we're honored that our friends and ST PR here to help foot the model on strengths. Vs weaknesses there's a stigma that goes against people going to you know helped is seen as a weakness where I believe that should be seen as a strength for someone have to. Know that they need some help in and I think we've. Everyone's been there in the airline business is beneficial to but even if this just to bounce ideas off of their have a professional talked to some times but I don't think. I think the stigma against that and and how it's it's looked down upon us is is 90% and it I think if everyone can just help each other instead of trying to judge. They're one another right away on based on things like that I think we tool would be better place. Yen as of desert that really is a big message we're hearing today man you know not being kind is contributes to a lot of stress and trauma for people being kinda play. That's a healer but I mean it's it's it's really simple. And for those of you joining us welcome to I'm listening. I'm BJ Shea along with doctor Ursula Whiteside let's take another call this time we'll go to Steve Steve you are on I'm listening go ahead. I and we're very grateful for the shortage of putting on. I'm on suicide watch survivor. Four years ago I want my daughter. So she was fourteen. And there it's every news struggle but I'm like calling Florida I I sought help from my local suicide prevention coalition. Hands. I know won't cure boredom and is I. For a while I heard that from you could have went when people. Trying to help the post and I'll close it out. And the. Steve I get your phone is cutting out a little bit steer it sounds like there it sounds like you're from my neck of the woods new England and I just know how tough it is when I was growing up. For a for New England man to be able to share these kind of struggles are going through. It's so good to hear your voice to your accent because you will set an example for the rest of us guys who think that you know what I can't talk about this they won't lay it. It's so good that you're doing the Steve. And that after you've lost somebody that has happened to you that there are places that you can go to be helpful to put your energy and time into after you've healed and then there's also have places you can go to help. That healing process and one of those is that American Foundation for Suicide Prevention they've got a great let's say. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention it provides resources for what to do people ask somebody or or what to do if you're should send us a check that out. Spencer you are on I'm listening thank ruby was today Spencer. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah I wouldn't what do you have for my call. You're welcome sir what do you have for us today. Quite a hit on quite a huge huge kick he would and I have my sister out. Court TV here you don't know why I did Jon Alpert and like it he did on a bit scared you don't. This is bitter on him he is looking to get help like DL I did it did. It's cute title and the Indy and her life is not dotted them. Ricki stern didn't like it. Thank you got that idea how to try to help you get pushed too much about hitting fire hit it. Is our art our umpire to help out people let. If you don't know what I'm Ian and I did you get. You're right on top of that spot Spencer that's it you're asking exactly there are questions so. I think in the meantime in the short term right being with that person being your sister's much as possible having people around turn it if she wants people checking in is really important. And then but that thing is like in a month. In two months and in six months it's still just as painful many times and Alan Thompson and the support has dissipated by and it's I think. Thinking about that now in and putting things in place so that. Six months from now there you've got a team of people who are gonna keep reaching out term regular basis every day just checking in. Ams can be so important and deporting her to get into health care and treatment to get into mental health treatment. And to let her know that maybe for the first person she's gonna match with media may be certainly try more than one therapist but it's going to be really important for her especially. In the she had her own to settle experiences. To have not only the help of her loved ones like you and her family and other family and friends. But also helpful of a therapist who can help get her through this time it's not going to be easy. Thank you Spencer so much for the call. We get another message from our website I'm listening dot org this is from Marisa and Ann Arbor, Michigan she writes. I've been listening living with major depression panic and phobia disorder complex PT EST. Bipolar type two and borderline personality disorder. I was first diagnosed with a mental health issues at fifteen. At the time I was so full life full of dreams. And after serving almost six years in the US air force reserve I was discharge from mental health and medical reasons. My military career was cut short and I was forced to give up. Since then my life has been an uphill battle three psych ward stays and fourteen pills per day. But I'm still here. And a thank humorous I would really appreciate your story is talking about the things that diagnosis he had the things you've been through the challenges that major disappointment. Major disappointments that you had and they are still a year and it speaks a lot and I think I hear from a lot of people who get through this. That it's some pension check scanning through. And Andy you're just getting through the day and and that's all you can do and and that's okay. But I'm glad that I'm glad that you're here I'm glad the. Doctor why so we've had we've had a couple conversations about the military but we're I have to say man some of the stats. That I see it about the military like is it true that 22 veterans die by suicide per day. For the latest stats I think it's more like too many people that die a day who are veterans such as still of course way too many people who are time suicide. And that leads store next guest country music has always been closely aligned with the military. And we're honored that country music superstar Brantley Gilbert touched on the serious subject of mental health and suicide. With our armed forces and here we have Brantley. You know I had noticed a warning to veterans. Did commit suicide every day as such staggering numbers. Being in DC yeah. It is this is all of those things I believe did we didn't deserves oh right yeah I'm. This entire area adding that god gave me. A little. More life in the hole I'm more glad Conan. However name came you don't he's touring to do and actually do these guys and girls. He had taken their lives every day that definitely think there's a place that you know I can share some their platforms so let's highlight list. Mean I think it's a little more than the issue at that point. You know one of the things as tell me. The most of alive and I'm so my it is still a depression and anxiety and addiction in Boise and everything out in the open. We're talking about it there is no god and then there is no shame about Indian it is what it is no nobody wakes up and mormons as you know I've I've. They don't suffer from repression Marino I think I don't know yeah. How all of this sort of thing only had an alcoholic and drug heading into it just. Didn't it does little or no way these things are diseases they're real diseases in the end. It's tough macho guys as opposed to do depression and anxiety and pain and things like to have done it. The truth is I mean realistically I think we don't do with a I'm in some way form or fashion so you know it's the conversations open Ambien head. How do you think he's he's he's heavier than deal and let them. That's all we're having this conversation that's when you're talking about it your expressions and then you're also from the conversation of different people you learn from sir. How does encourage folks to talk about it. One thing pretty killer for sharing doctor Weiss had a lesser show we touched on lethal means. What does that mean and why are they such an important topic for discussion for more white men in particular have such a hard time seeking help. So we talk about lethal means or talking about the ways that people used to harm themselves. And this means guns hills ropes those are the types of things that people used to harm themselves and what's so important about them is that when we hit time and space between someone in their preferred method of harming themselves. We action pre down the risk that they'll die by suicide so that's why it's especially important people rush rats. To not have easy access to a gun in the home 51% of suicides are action by fire him. And and that's something that we can drastically in tiny space between somebody who is suicidal or just depressed and anxious and a gun. Temporarily keeping an outside the homes separating tire iron bullets from. From the actual gun itself and this is not it is actually not a gun control. Saying this is Billy Moore about. Health and safety it's more like car seats than it is like and control them like it's about them and reducing brisk reducing the risk of harm. And I heard you say that many people who kill themselves may not wake up that they knowing that they were going to die can can you talk a bit more about that think assists. Really important in May be missing that I stayed today that that is most important people here. And that's that come. I mean militant editing that they wake up and tied it take their life and that's important because on people have the shifts in the way that they feel. On that can be they can feel so intense sometimes they'll do anything to escape it. But what I want you know is that if you know ahead of time that the what did you we have an overwhelming Gershon to turn yourself back can be really hopeful. So a couple of things that you can do it if you should have an overwhelming here's to carry yourself are. Two if he can go to sleep you know sleep make it past or cheese ice water splashed south your face for thirty for thirty seconds. Do you app for 32 stop to it again for three seconds to do that for five minutes tell help bring down and keep the intensity of what you're feeling and may make it help. Hope you think more clearly you can also find somebody asked and hope you get outside your had to call the crisis Tex signed. Our text the crisis sex planner call the one hundreds 2738255. Number. You know. If need be that this happens in shorter period of time but knowing what to do in the merger cases is really important if we can plan ahead for if that happens I think that things to be very different. Thanks Ursula continue to harsh statistics the military our next guest is the lead singer for the band Third Eye Blind Stephen Jenkins whose massive hit jumper. Has become an unfortunate anthem of sorts to many fans over the years. The lyrics are powerful and for good reason and they like so many songs leaders are based on a real moment. Here's Stephen with a back story on the song and lyrics of jumper. I'm jumper was written about a friend you jumped off the Coronado bridge in San Diego. At the time is a conservative navy town and he was gay and coming out of high school where I think he was actually being touted high school end to bullying in shame that he felt. From this was more than you can barely jumped off the bridge and killed himself. With songs numbers kind of a new noire it's really what you would say to somebody after the fact so it's. It's in a way it's speaking to the dead it's. It's that has this really sort of dark. Quality to what I've noticed over the years of singing the song is that it's really become the most exulted lifted part of our show because. All of us I think have this urge you really have. Really wishing that we can say to each other. And also the need to do. Here. That this darkness that seems overwhelming that all of us feel our lives at times it does lift. It does actually grow and that's that's with a power that song in the normally. I didn't know that that was what was gonna happen around with a song jumper to say. The simple idea that that we actually I would understand. That I have more understanding available for you and we have more we have more compassion available for each other. Then we may realize at times. Though. I hope that when you see people in your lives you who start to going to that dark place. To try to let them know that there is actually this well. Of compassion that is available to them even in times where they can't see it. I think that that is the the underlying. Message of jumper. Doctor Whiteside what do people say is helpful when they open up and say they are suicidal in the basement research. What prevents people who were suicidal from reaching out others. People say that things that prevent them from sharing this with other people aren't there concerns that. Election be thrown in the hospital. And it's really taken away in handcuffs at something will happen that's not within their control the people think they're crazy that people will judge them. All of these if these are common concerns and actually there is these things do happen it's not just doesn't. Sometimes it does actually happen but knowing what people are afraid of knowing what their concerns I can help us have a more compassionate and useful response. Until what can you do I mean it is talking about it all morning this morning is is to make sure your really listening your present each. In your paying attention to what they're saying before you're trying to solve any problems your your being present with them. And that really has close to home we've got some very personal stories on our website right now from our sister radio stations like gawker Manningham from WEEI in Boston who just opened up. About his struggles with depression and how he was contemplating suicide. And an incredible story from the smiley morning short w.s EPO and Indianapolis where they literally help save a listeners life. You can check those out now there's video stories on their right now I'm listening dot org. So much great great information there as well as any of the interviews you miss from today. This next step collar segment is important Barret Robbins he is the famous former football sinner who played nine seasons for the Oakland Raiders now. Barry you may remember was diagnosed as bipolar disorder and depression he missed practice and Super Bowl 37 and 2002. Because he suffered a manic episode. When they found him he was in co parent. He had alcohol cocaine marijuana and steroids in his system. And in 2005 he was shot three times during a brawl with the police and over the last decade or more he's been in and out of treatment facilities and rehab centers. And danced to Leo and our sister station 973 the fan in sitio caught up with Barrett just a few days ago. And they talked about how we missed the Super Bowl and how he's doing now. I know I don't have been in America looks okay about three weeks. Are the playoffs work collaboratively. The the departure of the situation closely injuries throughout the sustained hotel industry must put the player built to play in the game at that point. So although they can trigger event. Our ultimate leave my demise of the groups are mobile virtual look I get to a kid you know I try not to charge or give myself. But you know you know and how many people are only allowed to look very good how many. Well people who will be live effective you know chip did you Milosevic. It's it's it's hard not to move I think a lot of cute little arm a certain time of the year or those who welcomed well obviously. It's harder bill Lou. And but you know moving forward. I feel like you all I'm go look at how much a lot heavier per. The left rear elements over the three years looked at the same time there were economic recovery. You know here in Florida and and try to. Tried to create a platform to be able to help other people's smoke. Oh you know moment for the lifting our condolences continue to work world you know work every day and go and and and and and how to bring awareness to Booth. You know and all the while Poland addiction and alcoholism. And it's not a bipolar disorder here's a message from our website I'm listening dot org from Mary in Edmonds Washington it's quite timely she writes. I have bipolar disorder spend most of my young life trapped in a cycle of severe depression suicidal thoughts and self abuse. I thought. I was broken. I thought I'd never be okay. When my diagnosis finally came two years ago it was the biggest relief of my life. Mental illness is scary but being untreated and not knowing why things were so wrong. Is even worse. Knowledge is a powerful thing it helps us find a way when before all we could see is dead man's knowledge is hope. We absolutely and thinking to it when it thinks so we can say it that we see over and over again is that when people get through events. Four and their innings well again it's amazing thing happened. He looked to some of the greatest heroes of of our history United States and their people who Benson the sound like Abraham Lincoln. And and Martin Luther king and Lady Gaga these are all people who struggled and there's something about getting through something. And that gives you a new strain that sometimes Meeks even more are able to manage the dated a things. On makes you more resilient than other people and and there are since gift that if it turns out that there is a gift business that comes through the pain. And I also have a another another communication we got and I'm listening dot org. This is from Zach in Greenville. He says my girlfriend and I are both suicidal. My girlfriend is a cutter I'm struggle with trying to help her I'm reckless and hope something happens I don't wanna die but if it happens I'd welcome it. I also won her trying get better but I don't think she truly wants to I love her and want us both to try and seek help. What should I do. But that's a big question. Thank you so much for sending your message and it sounds like. Because there's so many hard things going on. That it's hard not to feel hopeless. Ticking here both a little bit here hopelessness but also a little bit of your desire and on the strings that you guys that you guys have made it together this funny how the each other. On an can be very hard to get therapy can be hard to get to know one way that you can you can get into treatment is to go see a primary care doctor. They can help you make the connection to see a therapist to get the help that you need. You're going to be wind to look for something called dialect of behavior therapy and one of things you can you can do is Google. DBT group's DB two groups in your town and and find toasty BT group's Seattle for example and role. Where they're at these occurrences that teach you how to cope with the emotions that tried to settle fonts and dressings like studying and binge eating and drinking alcohol. Those are some of the things that you can that you can do but also to say. You know what I'm not always gonna feel this way. And met and I need to keep Kim had downing and keep going in the meantime we really appreciate your message in there is hope that and and and keep keep looking for the treatment in addition to having each other he needs more support to. And we'll take another call here is Debbie Debbie you are on I'm listening good morning. Hi Debbie thank you for being ominous today well what what's your story. Should. I am AE. Multiple accounts survivor. I made it to get you to try to create coached someone other than myself. Who. They'll last try in the way it's still blue turtles and ultimately I was diagnosed as bipolar. Charlie would get help with that. But. On. More Healy happen through media and there are short time at work one day. I had a customer come in I was chopping down notes kick out jump to a they had a big deal coming up something very special. She and I had a clock outside clocked out that it just wait a minute and I'll help you with the register that and we checked out everything it was glorious church and I went about my way and a few weeks later. This man came back and he says. I do you remember him being an anxious how everything already cutaneous that you shed Welsh. It was a big deal by. It was supposed to be an eyelash earth. And it was benched HM you made me realize there's hope there are good people out there. I am not touched someone who instruct speechless. Like pepper. And I lie and I stood there eyes why I'll open. And ally. Earlier today when I listened to that program. To try to try Nash. And that has been my aide tried to be my approach because Serb. Others think they're my age she and bat right there at that moment told me that we never know. Man anybody could and my daughter. And you never and you never know who's the it for you you know that that moment when you're the one he's struggling and you do something nice for someone else. Other sending about that too that makes it easier recess. I really appreciate that story thank you thank god daily now. Thank you divvy somebody writer wrote in actually Leslie C could you ask you guessed about how therapy animals can be helpful for those with mental illness actually not Leslie says it's Greg Greg wrote that in. Yeah like watching yet. Yeah therapy animals so there's different there's different things that they're they're different types of animals I can be helpful there's like animal assisted therapy. And there's things thank you can get a letter that says you can have met an animal live with you or you can get. An animal that specially trained. You know there's a whole lake is there a whole area of research on the success that the un under way to understand how this works but it just makes much sense from what's more. Nonjudgmental about it than an animal what you know they're just not gonna look at us and say the wrong things are gonna love us unconditionally and you know what I asking for so many people that's really helpful. Coming getting two very hard times and you gotta take advantage of what works for unit that works for you by all means go for it. Yeah again it's companionship and mayor Andy and what do they do which is being there I think that's a good way for me to think an eye on Marlon animal to show up it's and and hopefully that will be helpful if I can show compete with you. Right and put it all the more Alley cats I. Or maybe dogs. Well as much as it pains me to say this we're just about out of time and to all of you we say really thank you so much thank you for spending two hours of us. We know two hours alone isn't gonna change the whole world for good it's a constant struggle I mean the battle for sunlight and invest our demons will always continue but. But please remember you're not alone that's the key you are part of a global community of people just like you. And we are all. All of us we are all in this together. So to all the beautiful souls to the time to reach out to us on the phone and through our website and I'm listening to on our eyes are really big thank you from both myself and Ursula. Please know that. Even if you're able to get your call. On a year or your message on air. Your voices were heard they are being hurt we are listening we have read it and are reading every word. And we are really filled with hope and happiness that you are reaching out US to anyone for that matter. Your words. Your pain. Your struggles and your triumphs they're not falling on deaf ears. You are not alone. And little by little day by day together we are going to continue to chip away. And end this stigma once and for all we're going to do this at least know if there's someone in your life. Who you try to reach out to and they shrug you off. Please don't don't give up. Don't stop shining that light don't stop searching for that healing hand and that ear that you seek. We're here we're listing we wanna help we want all your voices. All your words to be read and to be heard and to lift you and hold you off for as long as you need to be held. And we wanna think commitment core of our soldier cherished you matter. Thank you for your courage your the bravest people we know don't ever let your voices be silenced so please on behalf of doctor Ursula Whiteside and the extraordinary group of people surrounding us who came together to make a difference today. Thank you for listening and you can find that podcast. From today's show. On radio dot com that's the radio dot com app as well as our website I'm listening dot org. Along with wonderful wonderful resource is an additional content it's so important just please remember shine the light. Don't give up on people. And if you feel like you really need help right now called a national suicide prevention my planet 180273. Talk that's 1800. 8255. Or you can text to load a 741741. Our thanks to Lizzy hail hail storm Pearl Jam Alessio car Olympian Michael Phelps Mike Chenault belt Lincoln Park doctor Christopher Lewinsky TV Rex Jennifer Nettles and Kristian bush of Sugar Land -- may soon have nothing but the news Charlie truth Eric Bassett shutting down Stone Temple Pilots Brantley Gilbert Steven Jenkins of Third Eye Blind all of today's colors and those that message shots you'll find the podcast and resources and I'm listening dot org and if you're in crisis -- need immediate help please call 802738255. Thank you for listening.