Who Hasn't heard Of Fluffernutters? Freakin' Josh Dolan, That's Who

October 8, 2019

Let us sing the praises of the Fluffernutter.  That most Masshole of sandwiches made with creamy peanut butter and the sticky, gooey, sweet, white as a ghost, marshmallow creamy goodness known as Fluff.  A locally made confection that has been made in Massachusetts in one form or another since they were calling it the Fluffernutter the "Liberty Sandwich" during the first World War.  Many have tried to copy it with little to no success.  If it doesn't say Fluff on the jar(or plastic bucket) it's bullshit.  The Fluffernutter has been attacked by politicians who tried to ban it's serving in elementary schools due to worries of childhood obesity and our kids worshipping a marshmallow Satan. It was also carried into space to bring a little taste of Mass into Orbit.  If you grew up in New England there's a good chance you've ejoyed one with a glass of milk or hot chocolate.  I mean, if you haven't had one, you at least know what it is right?  

Not Josh Dolan.  When I told him it was National Fluffernutter Day his exact words were, "What's a Fluffernutter?"  Who's to blame for this travesty?  Who denied this child one of the greatest Massachusetts culinary institutions ever?  I know Josh's parents.  They're good people.  But with this revelation I feel I have to look up the statute of limitations on child neglect.  He claims he grew up in Ayer, Ma.  But maybe he's part of an old Soviet sleeper cell that was the all American Bruins loving family on the outside, but secretly pined for Mother Russia's Fluff: Tomato soup, ground beef, peas, celery and cooked rice.(Try spreading that on your Wonder Bread with Jif) In the end, Commrade Dolan was re-educated by Mistress Carrie and myself.