John Tortorella: A Massachusetts Hockey Hardo

Columbus Blue Jackets head coach, John Tortorella, is a text book Massachusetts hockey hardo. 

April 29, 2019
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Columbus Blue Jackets head coach, John Tortorella, is a text book Massachusetts hockey hardo. 

    He may be the coach of the Blue Jackets, but the Concord, MA native is still very much a Masshole. We all knew or know someone like “Torts”. He looks like every step dad who is a pee wee head coach and Cub Scout den leader that never knows when to turn off the intensity. He’s the kind of guy that will flip over a table in an NHL locker room or even at a pinewood derby tournament, for him it doesn’t matter. If he wasn’t coaching at the NHL level he’d be behind the bench at a Concord – Carlisle High School hockey game coaching the kids like he WAS in the NHL. And if he wasn’t coaching, he for sure the parent getting kicked out of the game. Torts is that parent the referee or umpire had to ask several times if he could please fold up his chair and take whatever is in that cuzzi he was holding and please head to the parking lot. We all know a Torts.

     Besides their logo, theres not a lot to hate about the Columbus Blue Jackets yet because there isn’t much history between them and the Boston Bruins. Even with the two the games played already, there hasn’t been much drama between the two teams. I mean a few things have happened like Marchand’s new tactic breaking Cam Atkinson’s stick because licking was outlawed and Brandon Dubinsky saying the Columbus Blue Jackets fans will be louder than Boston fans. Really Brandon, a bunch of bandwagon Blue Jackets fans who just discovered hockey a few weeks ago are louder than us?! But other than that there’s not much anger in this series and Torts hasn’t been set off yet. But give it time. Up until a few years ago they were in the Western conference and most Bruins fans like myself probably sometimes forget they’re even a team. But John Tortorella will be one storyline that will be fun to hate in this playoff series if nothing else happens.. I can just feel he’s going to snap very soon and I can’t wait! To be clear I don’t hate John Tortorella, I think he’s very entertaining and he does have a Stanley Cup under his belt, plus he’s a Masshole He’s one of us. I’m not sure I’d like him as a Boston Bruins coach, but when his team isn’t playing the Bruins, he’s got to be my favorite coach in the league. You can easily waste a good amount of time going down a rabbit hole of “Pissed John Tortorella” videos on YouTube. Actually I highly suggest going down that rabbit hole. It’s hard to pick a favorite John Tortorella moment, from the famous “Brooksie” video to him telling a member of the media “You got beat up at the bus stop most of the time, huh?” or even the time he tried to break into the Calgary Flames locker room to fight the whole team. I don’t know why Tortorella’s anger warms my heart so much but it does. I just can’t wait to see if he gives us any new sound bites this series! So if you don’t know Torts yet.. you’ll for sure get to know him as this series heats up!