Stop Washing Your Hands IMMEDIATELY

April 13, 2018
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See, everyone thought LB was the gross one for not washing my hands after he uses a public bathroom . . . but it turns out HE'S been the clean one all along. He always says that he never washes his hands because his penis is clean, so there's really no need to wash his hands since everything else is what's really dirty. 

And... HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE RIGHT!

According to a new study out of the University of Connecticut, the hand dryers in public bathrooms are SPRAYING FECES all over your hands.

Basically, when someone flushes one of the toilets, it sends fecal particles swirling into the air.  The hand dryers suck them in . . . keep them nice and warm . . . and then blow them right back out.  Which is just straight up disgusting. 

So what should you do?  The researchers say that you should try to use paper towels . . . which kind of flies in the face of everyone who says we SHOULDN'T use those because they're worse for the environment.  I guess we can't win. 

Side note: this makes it even more important for you to avoid storing your toothbrush in a cup on your bathroom counter... because airborne poop.