GOING DEEPER: With this ring...

October 18, 2018

To ring, or not to ring, that is the question. A listener asks, "My girlfriend says that when we get married I need to wear a ring but I told her I’m not a ring guy and shouldn’t have to wear it. Do I really need to wear the ring if I’m married?"

Oh boy. We're really starting off on the right foot here, eh folks? So you say she is your "girlfriend," meaning not your fiancee. So you two aren't even engaged yet, and she's already setting up the parameters of your life."

Let's dive into this a bit, shall we? Why do people get upset when their spouse doesn't wear their wedding ring? It's because they are cheating, right? Or they want to cheat? That is the assumption that I feel most people have. It's *nice* if someone wants to wear their ring, because it's really a long-standing tradition. But there are plenty of people, both men AND women, who have touched the person they are cheating on their spouse with using a hand that has A WEDDING RING ON IT. So the sanctity of marriage isn't necessarily contained in the ring like your childhood dog's ashes.

There are plenty of reasons why someone wouldn't want to wear a ring, besides just to not appear married or taken. Let's take a look at those, since the other side of the coin has some pretty obvious reasons.

1) Work. Many individuals work in professions where it's dangerous to wear a ring, because they work with tools or machinery that could possibly get caught on the ring. Google "ring degloving" if you don't know to what I'm referring. Basically, all the skin on your finger is ripped RIGHT OFF by said ring. Dangerous. Now, you can certainly get around this by tattooing a ring on your finger. I know many people that work in the trades who have opted to do this very thing. May not be the right choice for you, but it's an option. Another profession where wearing a ring gets in the way is that of hairstylist. Several of you checked in about this on the text line.

2) Gym. Another scenario where you can possibly lose a finger or be seriously injured involves working out, and I'm not referring to me being a rhabdo two-timer. So you have to be careful there. And lots of people take their rings off at the gym and then lose them. Oops. 

3) Comfort. It's just not comfortable for some people to wear rings. Either you have chunky fingers, or you have circulation issues, or... just fill in another reason here. Some people just don't like the hand jewelry.

At the end of the day, you exchanged vows. The ring is a symbol, yes, but it's not the end all, be all. Rings don't stop people from stepping out on their spouses, and they don't make people less attractive to others. People are going to do what they are going to do. If it's important to her that you wear your ring, texter, and you don't have a concrete reason NOT to, then just do it. Happy wife, happy life. 

This is GOING DEEPER, a new feature where we go even further inside the warped female brain. The regular segment on the air runs every Thursday at 7:50am, but often, we don't get to dive very deep into answers because we get so many questions. Here, I'll attempt to go a bit deeper into one of the questions we get each week.